


Under No Circumstances

by thelonggoodbye



Category: Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Bad Blood, Crossover - The Man From UNCLE, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-10 23:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8944312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonggoodbye/pseuds/thelonggoodbye
Summary: "Taylor Swift," Agent Kloss said. "I've heard of her. Likes glitter bombs and has razor sharp claws. I'm sure we'll get along."Or, the one where Taylor and Karlie are agents from UNCLE, the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement.





	1. The Christmas Tree Affair

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crossover of sorts with Man From UNCLE, but not enough that I added it as a second fandom. The canon used is the 1964 show, not the 2015 movie. You don't need to have any knowledge of the show itself aside from the knowledge that it often makes fun of traditional tropes in spy movies, and that the plots are often incredibly silly. Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin were the main characters of the original show, and appear frequently. UNCLE is a cooperative group several nations formed to defend the world against THRUSH, which is a criminal organization bent on ruling the world. Y'know, like normal people.

Karlie was pretending to have ripped her pants when she first heard her future partner’s voice. Taylor Swift, code name Catastrophe, was speaking quietly to the man next to her. “No one uses a tailor anymore,” Taylor said, and Karlie could have laughed at the irony of it. “Why are UNCLE’s headquarters still hidden behind Del Floria’s? I come in here every day and that mean man across the street looks at me and wonders how on earth I keep managing to rip every single dress I own and why I haven’t learned to sew yet.”

The man next to Taylor just shrugged. His eyes were on Karlie. She decided she liked him; better an obvious over caution than completely missing her. He was hard to notice, standing next to Taylor. The moment she had walked into the tailor’s shop she had lit it up, her disposition every bit as sunny as her hair.

“Like what you see?” Taylor asked, and it took Karlie a second to realize she was talking to her. 

“Why?” Karlie asked, straightening up. “You looking for someone to—“

She was cut off by Taylor pushing her into the changing room and holding a knife to her neck. “Who are you?”

The man poked his head in. “I meant to tell you. That’s Karlie Kloss, codename Knockout. She’s your new partner.”

Taylor didn’t relax her grip on either Karlie or the knife. “I told you, Harry, I don’t need a partner.”

Karlie sighed. She hated changing partners. With a smooth move she grabbed Taylor’s arm and twisted the other girl around until she was holding the knife to Taylor’s neck. “I’m taller than you,” she said. “Never give me an opening where I can push you down.” She let Taylor’s hand, and the knife, go and stepped back.

Taylor tucked the knife into the back of her jeans. “Nice to meet you, Karlie Kloss. Where did you get the codename Knockout?”

Karlie grinned. “That’s privileged information, Catastrophe. So, do you have an actual headquarters in this joint, or is it just this dinky little changing room?”

UNCLE, or the United Network for Law and Enforcement, had scouted Karlie five years before at a high school boxing match. She had worked in St. Louis for years before they decided to promote her to New York. The city was the hub of UNCLE’s work in the United States, and it was well known both for frequently saving the world from THRUSH and, at least internally, for making some of the best pairs known to the agency. Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin had walked through these same halls fifty years before.

Now, Karlie would be working with Taylor as an enforcement officer. Taylor was a well-known UNCLE agent—well-known both internally and to THRUSH. Karlie had followed her career through rumors and tall tales, and if even half of what she heard was true, Taylor Swift was a very impressive woman.

Taylor led Karlie through the twisting halls of headquarters, stopping three security checkpoints later. “This is Napoleon Solo’s office.”

Napoleon Solo was probably the best agent UNCLE had ever had, next to Illya Kuryakin, and once he had stopped working in the field he had eventually taken over the New York office’s number one spot. He was a legend. Karlie wanted her name to be whispered with the same awe and fear his inspired in all THRUSH agents.

“What are we doing here?” Karlie asked, suddenly nervous.

Taylor tapped Karlie’s chest lightly. “That badge you’re wearing says number three, doesn’t it? Who else is the number three supposed to take commands from?”

Karlie glanced down at the badge she had been given. “Number three?”

“It means you’re good at your job,” Taylor said. “Even excellent. It also means that if you want to move up in the ranks, you’ll have to go through me.” With that, Taylor opened the door, revealing Napoleon Solo playing a game of solitaire.

“Finally,” he said. “I thought you two would never open that door. I had a better entrance planned, but I was afraid I would die before you two stopped talking.”

Taylor walked in and threw herself down on one of the chairs. “Oh stop, Napoleon, you know that if Illya hasn’t killed you yet, nothing else will. Karlie Kloss, meet Napoleon Solo. Don’t let him impress you. He’s a charmer, but he’s nothing more than a harmless old spy.”

“Don’t forget to tell her my bad qualities, Taylor.” To Karlie, he said, “I may be a terrible flirt, but I’m a happily married one.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Come on, Karlie, stop standing in the door like a deer in the headlights and take a seat.”

Karlie noticed that she was, in fact, still standing where Taylor had left her. She forced herself to move, taking the seat next to Taylor and directly across from Napoleon. “So, Mr. Solo, I assume you have a new and exciting way for us to go get ourselves killed,” Taylor said.

Napoleon smiled. “I thought you would never ask.” He pulled out a remote, and the television turned on, showing a picture of a Christmas tree farm. “THRUSH has been using Christmas trees as a way to infiltrate the American home.”

“First menorahs, now Christmas trees? What’s next, poison in our Saturnalia olive oil?”

“Ms. Swift, if you please,” Napoleon said, “I would like to finish briefing you so I can go home to my husband and you can go off to hopefully get killed. THRUSH has been growing a strain of Christmas trees with a specific compound in their sap that begins to cause hallucinations and psychosis after a long exposure. It is up to the two of you to find out why. And I would suggest hurrying, as Illya has tried to put one in our living room.”

“Aye aye, cap’n,” Taylor said. “C’mon, Knockout, let’s see your stuff.”

Two hours later, Karlie and Taylor pulled up to Treerex Christmas Trees. Taylor surveyed the trees with a sigh from the car. “They’re mediocre trees at best. Come on, Kloss, faster we get this over with faster we can go and get a proper tree.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Karlie asked as she stepped out of the car.

Taylor grinned. “Christmas trees happen to be one of my fields of expertise, along with guns, decorating with glitter, and cats.”

“So, how does one come to know so much about Christmas trees?” 

“I grew up on a Christmas tree farm. Elisa Graves is at your two o’clock. She’s a THRUSH agent, low level but moving up quickly.”

“I haven’t heard of her,” Karlie said. “She’s coming this way.”

Elisa Graves was, indeed, coming towards them. She was a short redhead—although, next to Karlie and Taylor, anyone would seem short. She didn’t seem evil, but no one seemed evil on a Christmas tree farm.

“Hi! I’m Ginger Houston and I’ll be showing you around today,” Elisa said when she had reached them.

“Ginger?” Taylor hissed in Karlie’s ear. “Really? That’s so subtle.” Elisa just smiled up at them. “I’m Taylor, and this is my partner, Karlie. We, like, just got an apartment together and I am so excited to get our first Christmas tree. I was thinking a Douglas, maybe?”

“We don’t have those here, sorry,” Elisa said.

“You don’t have Christmas trees?” Karlie asked.

Both Elisa and Taylor ignored her. “We deal solely in Nobles.”

“Well, I guess we’ll start looking around! Are there any trees you recommend?”

Karlie trailed silently behind Taylor and Elisa as they moved between trees, Taylor keeping up a peppy, mostly one sided monologue about the advantages of certain kinds of needles versus the longevity of other types. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a tall man slip behind a tree. He was following them.

Karlie tapped the back of Taylor’s elbow twice and then turned down a different path, making her way towards the man. He was focused on Taylor, likely because she was the more recognizable of the two. He would soon learn not to underestimate her. A few seconds later, she had her gun pressed to his temple and his gun was lying in the snow.

“Hi,” she said. “I see you’re watching my partner.”

The man froze. “Who are you?”

“You can call me Knockout,” Karlie said. “Which trees are safe?”

“All of them,” the man said, “at least out here. The dangerous ones are in the shed behind the house.”

“Who have you given them to?” 

“I don’t know—UNCLE agents. Some political figures. People who get too close. I don’t know the whole plan, I’m just the hired gun.”

Karlie knocked him out with a sigh. He hadn’t told them anything Napoleon couldn’t, and now she would have to go get Taylor and get out. Walking through the front door may have been a mistake.

Taylor was easy to spot as Karlie walked through the rows of trees. She was wearing a long, olive green coat that Karlie knew covered tight black jeans and an impressive number of guns. Her blue knit cap, which almost completely covered her short blonde hair and a lock pick, was bobbing above a number of the trees.

“Taylor!” Karlie called. “I just found the cutest tree, oh my god, you have to come see it. It is absolutely the most adorable thing ever. I think it would be great to pose your cats with in their reindeer sweaters.” Both Elisa and Taylor looked somewhat revolted, which was how Karlie felt. “Excuse us, please!” she chirped to Elisa before dragging Taylor off.

“Matching reindeer sweaters?” 

“You like glitter and sparkly guns, so it didn’t feel that off base. This place is swarming with THRUSH agents, though. We’d be better off leaving and—“

The safety of a gun clicked off. Both Karlie and Taylor froze. Elisa came out from behind a tree, flanked by two large men holding rifles.

“Busted,” Taylor whispered.

“Taylor Swift,” Elisa said. “You can’t possibly know how long I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to face off against you. And here I have you, right within my sights, and your partner too. Does this mean you’re finally getting over Selena’s death, or do you really share an apartment with another woman?”

“Shut up,” Taylor growled, “about Selena.”

Before Karlie could blink, Taylor had two guns up and had fired, hitting both of the men simultaneously. She ducked at Elisa’s answering shot, which went wide anyway. Karlie had her own gun up and pointed at Elisa in seconds.

“Which UNCLE agents have you sent the trees to?” Karlie asked. She had to keep Elisa talking until she was certain Taylor was steady enough on her feet to have her back.

“I won’t tell you.”

“We have three guns pointed at you. I think you’re better off telling us now. See, I’m the kind of girl who throws a punch no questions asked, but Taylor here is the kind of girl who gets real mad when someone is keeping information from her. And when Taylor gets angry, she has a tendency to do permanent damage.”

“She couldn’t do anything half as bad as THRUSH could,” Elisa responded, but her voice seemed weak. Her resolve was already wavering, Karlie was certain.

“Do you really want to test her? Many better agents have tried and been crushed by her high heels.”

Elisa was quiet for a second. “We keep a logbook inside in the safe. The code is 7565.”

“Excellent,” Karlie said. “Any security I should be wary of?”

Rather than responding, Elisa just spat at Karlie’s feet. Taylor jolted back into motion. “I’ll tie this one up while you go for the code.”

Karlie left Taylor doing just that. She could see the house through the maze like rows of trees. She crept through them, keeping her attention focused around her. She didn’t know how many THRUSH agents may still be lurking nearby or if she was at risk of setting off any hidden alarms. Her slow approach left her plenty of time to think. She didn’t know who Selena was, or anything about Taylor’s former partner, but she didn’t like to have such an easy weakness. Taylor was pure fire most of the time, every bit as likely to punch someone as she was to greet them, but this Selena girl put her off beat. Karlie shook her head. It wasn’t worth worrying about, at least not yet. She would learn Taylor better and figure out what the hell was going on, or she would die. 

When she reached the house she eyed the front door and its complicated locks. Along the side of the house, there were a number of Christmas trees leaning up against the house. Perfect, she thought. The tallest one led straight up to a window. She scaled it in seconds and opened the window. From there, it was easy to sneak through the house and reach the safe. It clicked open with no issues. Karlie glanced around her. This was beginning to seem too easy. She tucked the logbook under her coat and turned to find herself face first with two more THRUSH agents.

“Gentlemen,” she said, “if you’ll pardon me, I was just leaving.”

“I don’t think so,” the taller of the two men said. “I’m afraid you’ll be feeling the effects of the trees any second.”

Karlie sighed. She had climbed a fucking Christmas tree. A chemically altered, poisonous Christmas tree. The agent was right. It was only a few more seconds before she fell, her knees giving way. She was unconscious before she hit the ground.

“She’s tall,” the other THRUSH agent said. “Do you think we can just tie her up here?”

Outside, Taylor had just shoved Elisa into the trunk of her car. She checked her watch. Karlie should have been back probably, but it was always hard to judge in situations like this. Taylor started heading towards the house anyway. It was better for Karlie to have an annoying partner than for Taylor to have a dead one. She didn’t want to risk getting a new one with an even more stupid codename. First Arsyn, then Knockout—Taylor’s partners had terrible taste in codenames.

It was when she heard the first scream that she picked up the pace, jogging towards the house. If that was Karlie, she had an impressive set of lungs on her. If it wasn’t, then they were in even more trouble than they had anticipated.

Taylor crept around the side of the house, peering into basement windows as she went. It wasn’t until she reached the back of the house that she could see Karlie. The girl was alone in the room, but she was fighting as though a hundred THRUSH agents surrounded her. As Taylor watched, Karlie seemed to give up, curling into herself. She wasn’t screaming, not anymore, but Taylor could see that she wanted to as silent tears streamed from her eyes. Taylor didn’t want to leave her alone, even if Karlie didn’t know that she was there, but she needed a way into the house. She needed a way to get in and get out without running afoul of more THRUSH agents. 

There was an open window on the second floor—probably how Karlie had gotten in, Taylor thought—but the only way to reach it was by climbing a Christmas tree. Taylor knew Christmas trees every bit as well as she knew how to disembowel a man or how to speak Mandarin, and she knew that those trees were sick. She could see it in the way they were almost slumped against the wall, their branches looking like they couldn’t even hold an ornament, let alone Karlie Kloss. She would have to find another way in. She circled the house twice more before settling on the front door. It was obvious. It was perfect. And, as Karlie would say later, it was very Taylor Swift.

There were no guards at the door. Taylor knew that she had been lucky so far, but part of her just wanted a challenge. She wanted something to do, something worthwhile that would get her mind off of Selena. This was her first time in the field in two months, and she was spending it locking women in trunks and missing all of the action. As she wandered through the house, she spotted Karlie’s coat lying next to a safe. It was large, fluffy, and conveniently wrapped around a small black book. It also seemed to be abandoned.

Taylor took a gun from the waistband of her pants. All of this was too easy to be true. She knew THRUSH, and she knew how their operatives worked. She wasn’t going to be caught without a fight. She kept close to the wall as she made her way through the room to the coat. She picked it and the book up. To her surprise, and somewhat to her disappointment, nothing exploded and no one shot at her. The same held true as she made her way back along the wall and out the door. There, her luck a changed. A THRUSH guard stood there, a short, strong man with a big gun.

“Hi!” Taylor said. “I’m looking for the bathroom?”

He lifted his gun, aiming at her head. “You won’t need a bathroom where you’re going.”

It only took seconds for Taylor to put a bullet through his heart. She stepped over the body gingerly. “That was some of the worst pre-shot banter I’ve ever heard, and I’ve fought next to the Crimson Curse.”

She assumed that the shot would bring more guards running, and she was right. She met two more as she finally reached the stairs to the basement. “Stop,” one of them grunted.

Taylor threw Karlie’s coat at one as she raised her gun and shot the other. By the time the man had fought his way out from under Karlie’s huge coat Taylor was behind him, in the perfect position to knock him out with a single hit. “Sorry,” she told him, “but I’ve never been good at listening to orders.”

She picked up Karlie’s coat and the logbook before making her way downstairs. She couldn’t hear Karlie, but she knew what room she was probably in. The fact that only one room was being guarded helped. One of the guards saw Taylor as she made her way down the stairs. She was pretty, short with dark hair, the kind of girl Taylor would be flirting with if they were anywhere else. Now, though, Taylor slipped a knife from her pocket and threw it with deadly accuracy. Before the other guard could register what had happened he had a knife in his throat as well. Taylor liked knives, as much as Napoleon looked down on them. Their main advantage was that they were quieter than guns, she would tell Napoleon, and he would reply that it would hardly matter, since he could shoot six people in the time it took to knife one. Taylor made her way across the room to the door. She bent down, retrieving the two knives. She had learned early that it was better not to leave her knives stuck in random people. Things like that could come back to haunt a girl.

It was with some trepidation that she opened the door. Karlie was bigger and stronger than her, and she was tripping on Christmas trees. It wasn’t exactly a combination Taylor wanted to face. When she opened the door, Karlie didn’t immediately attack her like Taylor had half been expecting. Instead, she was halfway out the window.

“Seriously?” Taylor asked. “I go to all this effort to rescue you and you go and escape?”

Karlie pulled herself the rest of the way out of the window. A few seconds later, she reappeared. “A true THRUSH agent would have shot me in the ass.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Give me a hand up, would you?”

Their way back to the car was slow. Taylor was surprised Karlie had managed to escape. The girl was moving slowly, and seemed almost drunk. She was also regaling Taylor with stories from her childhood.

“And then my sister said that she loved bowling, which she totally did not, because she always bowled strikes—or wait, what are the bad ones? Where you don’t hit anything?”

“Gutter balls,” Taylor supplied. “Look, Kloss, mind being quiet? You don’t want them to catch us, do you?”

Karlie looked around wildly. “Who? Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin? What do you think they’ll do, punish us for being out after curfew?”

Taylor smiled. She was so going to use this against Karlie later. “Once, I was ten minutes late and Illya strung me up,” she said. “He left me up there for ten hours—one hour for every minute I was late. Those Russians are cruel, you know.”

Karlie covered her mouth with her hands and crossed her eyes. “We should hurry!”

“Nah,” Taylor said. “You get used to being in that position and then it gets pretty comfortable. I got a great night’s sleep—the whole eight hours.”

“You’re playing with me,” Karlie accused.

“Me?” Taylor asked. “I would never.”

They reached the car then, and Taylor held the passenger’s side door open for Karlie. “I want to drive,” the taller girl said with a pout.

“You can drive on the way home,” Taylor promised, and Karlie only thought about it for a minute before agreeing.

Karlie fell asleep on the ride back to the city, and Taylor found herself studying her features. She had the classic beauty of a model or corporate powerhouse. She didn’t look like an international spy. But then, Taylor thought with a smile, neither did she. 

Napoleon was waiting for them in the parking garage when they arrived. Taylor jumped out and tossed her keys to an attendant. “Be careful with her,” she instructed. “Oh, and there’s a THRUSH agent in the trunk.”

“Good to see you made it back in one piece, Ms. Swift,” Napoleon said.

“You haven’t seen my partner yet.” Taylor half helped Karlie out of the car and half lifted her out. Karlie was still mostly asleep clutching the logbook and her coat to her chest. “She climbed a Christmas tree.”

Napoleon nodded. “I can see that. But you got what we need?”

“A logbook. It has their plans, I assume, but it’s written in code. We got it from the woman in the trunk, Agent Elisa Graves.”

“Isn’t she the one who momentarily turned back time?”

“Someone turned back time?”

“That, uh, may be above your security clearance,” Napoleon said with a shrug. “Now, why don’t you get Ms. Kloss to Medical, since she’s certainly knocked out, and then drop the book off with Translation.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I don’t make a habit of waiting for my agents in parking lots, Ms. Swift.”

Taylor smiled. “Sure, Napoleon. Say hi to Illya for me.”

“Focus on your own partner, Swift, she’s keeling over.”

Karlie awoke in Medical to find Taylor sitting there typing. “What did I miss?” she asked.

“Paperwork,” Taylor said. “You’re filling out the report for our next mission, Kloss. How’s your head?”

“Pounding.”

“Better than the alternative.”

“What, dead?”

“You hit the nail on the head.” Taylor closed the computer. “I’ll call the doctor. I want to get out of here as soon as possible.”

Karlie watched her go. Taylor was none the worse for their adventures, from what she could tell. She had apparently stayed at Karlie’s side for the entire time she was unconscious which, judging by the hunger she felt, had been at least several hours. The door opened and Taylor reappeared, trailing a doctor.

“It’s good to see you awake, Ms. Kloss,” the doctor said. “We weren’t sure what exactly THRUSH used, so we created an antidote that would treat several likely candidates. I’m glad it worked. How are you feeling?”

“I have a bitch of a headache,” Karlie said, “but I’m mostly just hungry.”

“You were out for six hours,” Taylor supplied, “not counting your nap in the car or the sleepy debrief with Napoleon.”

“We debriefed?”

“In the parking lot in passing. You were barely standing upright, so I’m not surprised you forgot.”

The doctor cleared his throat, reminding Karlie that he was there. “You are free to leave Medical, but we recommend that you have someone present to check on you throughout the night. This is just in case there is an unpleasant side effect, such as a cessation of breath or a rash. Please check in with me when you return to work so I can see how that cocktail of drugs worked.”

“Sure, doc,” Karlie said.

“C’mon, let’s blow this popsicle stand,” Taylor said. 

The two made their way into the hall. Karlie turned for the exit, and Taylor grabbed her arm. “Where are you going?”

“Back to my hotel,” Karlie said. “I was going to go apartment shopping tomorrow, but I guess that idea’s shot.”

“Come home with me tonight.”

“Sorry?”

Taylor sighed. “You aren’t supposed to be alone tonight, so come home with me. I have a spare bed and a couple of cats, so it’s guaranteed to be nicer than your hotel. And don’t worry about the apartment. UNCLE has a few it keeps furnished for agents who require extra security, and if you keep hanging around me, you’ll need it.”

“That’s encouraging,” Karlie said.

“And fun.”

“There’s never a dull moment with Taylor Swift, is there?”

“That is how I got my codename. I need to drop the computer off in our office before we leave. Do you mind waiting here?” Without waiting for an answer Taylor turned and walked away. Karlie blinked in surprised. They had an office?

Another woman came walking down the hall. She was almost as tall as Taylor—although not nearly as tall as Karlie. No one was as tall as Karlie. “You Taylor’s new partner?” the woman asked.

“Yeah,” Karlie said. “Knockout.”

“Cutthroat,” the woman said. “I figured I would warn you—Swift isn’t called Catastrophe for nothing. She’s a partner killer.”

“She killed her partner or she got her partner killed?”

“Does it matter either way? Just watch your own back. You can’t trust her to do it for you.” With that, Cutthroat kept walking without even looking back at Karlie.

Karlie slumped against the wall, needing that support. She had just said that there would never be a dull moment with Taylor, but all of a sudden she was wishing for one. She didn’t want to believe that Taylor could be a partner killer, but she had reacted poorly to a mention of her partner before. Karlie fingered the badge she wore with its bold number three. Surely if Taylor really had killed her partner, she wouldn’t be the top enforcement officer in the US. But then, Napoleon Solo was just crazy enough to do that.

It was then that Taylor reappeared. “Are you okay?”

Karlie pushed herself off the wall. “I’m just tired. You wouldn’t happen to have any spare sweatpants in your apartment, would you?”

The next day found Karlie in Medical again, waiting as a doctor did some preliminary bloodwork. She knew that Taylor was waiting for her upstairs. When she was done they would meet with Napoleon Solo to go over the day before. Every time Karlie thought about the fact that she had climbed a Christmas tree at a farm with poisoned Christmas trees, she wanted to die just a little bit more. The full debriefing would be nothing if not hell.

An older man entered the room. He was a short blond man who was likely in his sixties, but he still seemed fit. Karlie actually got the impression that if he really wanted to he could kick her ass, elderly or no.

“You were given quite a few drugs yesterday,” the man said. “With such a kick to your system, I am surprised you are still walking.” Karlie was surprised to realize that he was Russian. She knew UNCLE was an international organization, but Russian agents in the US were uncommon, to say the least.

“I don’t like to be knocked down for long,” she retorted.

“You picked an apt codename then, Knockout. Tell me, what possessed you to climb a Christmas tree that was likely to be poisoned?”

“The chance that it wasn’t,” she said.

The man nodded. “You chose wrong.”

“Yeah, I realized that when I passed out on two THRUSH agents. Who are you, anyway?”

“My name is Illya Kuryakin.”

Karlie was quiet for a second before the first question erupted. “Is it true that you once managed to reverse engineer a bomb from cufflinks that had already detonated in less than thirty seconds?”

Illya smiled briefly. “Is that the rumor going around?”

“So it isn’t true?”

“It was twenty seconds.”

Karlie shook her head. “I wish they made cufflinks for women. I’d like to try something like that out, and it would be dead useful.”

“There weren’t many female enforcement agents in my day,” Illya responded, “but I have seen some rather ingenious ways to sneak bombs into women’s clothing.”

Karlie pointed to one of her earrings, a small stud. “It’s a bomb. The other one is a homing device. I also have a few necklaces and bracelets with assorted properties.”

“Interesting,” Illya said. “If you would not mind being my guinea pig, I would like to try some other designs as well. I have a lab downstairs.”

“I would be honored,” Karlie said. Her communicator started beeping just as his did.

“Hello Napoleon,” Illya said into the communicator. To Karlie he said, “He managed to install a special ringtone. I have not yet figured out who he bribed.”

Karlie answered hers with a succinct, “Knockout.”

“Karlie,” Taylor said, “ditch Medical. The briefing is moved up. Translation cracked the code too late. THRUSH made their next move.”

“I’m on my way.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Illya said as Karlie strode past him. “I’ll send some new earrings up to your office in a few days’ time.”

“I look forward to it.” It wasn’t until she was halfway to Napoleon’s office that she realized she still didn’t know where her own office was.

Taylor was waiting for her outside Napoleon’s door. “I’m glad you survived,” she said, like she hadn’t driven Karlie to work and dropped her off at Medical after checking on her what seemed like every five minutes the night before.

“Astute observation.”

Taylor opened Napoleon’s door. He was sitting behind his desk, staring intently at his computer. “How’s Solitaire?” 

“Let’s just say that it’s lucky that I play against myself, so that I’m the winner either way.”

“I don’t think that’s how Solitaire works,” Karlie started to say, but Taylor cut her off with, “I was just telling Karlie why we were called up here in a hurry.”

“THRUSH has started sending out the trees,” he said. “Thanks in part to Ms. Kloss’s own brush with death, we have a preliminary cure, but we would rather not have to use it.”

“I’d like to thank the Academy,” Karlie said dryly. “Where are we going?” 

“I’d like to know who sent them,” Napoleon said. “Someone had to deliver the trees, and someone on the security teams had to let them. Find out who.”

Taylor looked over at Karlie. “Race you to our office,” she said. She was off like a shot, before Karlie even had time to protest. 

“I don’t even know where our office is,” she complained to Napoleon.

He appeared to have gone back to Solitaire. “I suggest you find out soon, then, or Taylor will beat you there.”

“Do you mean she hasn’t already?”

Napoleon shrugged. “I think there’s a possibility that she has found herself… waylaid.” When Karlie glanced at him, he was smirking. She took off at a run, throwing a thank you over her shoulder.

Their office was large, with high ceilings and more defense mechanisms than Fort Knox. Karlie beat Taylor there by a good five minutes, which she spent exploring the room and peeking into filing cabinets. When Taylor arrived, short of breath and wearing tinsel, she glared at Karlie for a second before laughing.

“Napoleon likes you, the old bastard. He had people from tech try to trim me.” She held up an end of the tinsel. “Want some?”

“I’m good,” Karlie said. “You could probably go undercover as a tree, though.”

Taylor started unwrapping the tinsel. “So, how are you with sneaking into government buildings?”

Karlie cracked her knuckles. “Better than the average, I would say.”

“We’re going to need to break into a few secure facilities that I’m pretty sure we aren’t supposed to know about. You up for the challenge?”

“Give me a few lock picks and a map and I’ll get us in,” Karlie promised. “I haven’t met a building that could keep me out yet.”

“I was hoping you would say that. The map’s on your desk. We’re leaving in two hours, so do as much as you can before then.”

“Two hours?” Karlie asked.

“Is it a problem?” Taylor raised an eyebrow.

“I’m just not sure why you’re giving me so much time. Going easy on me?” 

In the end, Karlie was grateful for the two hours. Taylor hadn’t given her an easy job, breaking into a secure military facility. By the time Taylor was ready to go, Karlie had memorized the entire facility, marked three possible points of entrance, and taken out some of the alarms remotely. 

Taylor reappeared, toting two backpacks. She put one on Karlie’s desk. “You’ll carry this. It’s got a tracker buried in it, plus an extra communicator in one of the straps. It’s also got lock picking equipment, a laptop, and a horseshoe.”

“A horse shoe?” 

“For luck,” Taylor said. “Are you ready to go?”

Karlie nodded. “I’ll need to observe their guards for at least an hour when we get there.”

Taylor nodded. “We should get there just as they’re changing to the evening shift. I figured it would be easier to get in at night, when there are fewer civilians and guards.”  
“If we went during the day, we may be able to blend in,” Karlie said, biting her lip.

Taylor sighed. “Kloss, you’re over six feet tall. It would be like bringing a lion to a cat show. We’ll have to be sneakier, but hopefully no one will remember our faces once we get out.”

“I’ll have you know that being this tall has its advantages.”

“I believe you. Now come on, or we’ll hit traffic.” She strode off, hitting the button to alarm the office as she left.

“It’s New York. We’ll hit traffic no matter what,” she complained, trailing after Taylor.

The drive to the facility was mostly quiet. As Taylor drove Karlie studied the map again and then turned her attention to the laptop, hacking the system with relative ease. Finally, an hour into the drive, she spoke, “I can see their security cameras. I’m going to mark them on the map, and when we get inside I’ll be able to turn them off if we need to. But if we turn them off for long, they’ll notice. We’ll have to use that as a last resort.”

Taylor shot her an admiring glance. “Can you watch them to try and guess where the guards patrol?”

“I could, but it’s not as effective as watching them once we get there. It’s easier to tell based on shadows than when they pass these cameras. And, if I get lucky, they have a rotation somewhere on this computer.”

“What did you do?”

“I took over the main security computer remotely. I’m just shifting through files and the cameras now, but if I really wanted to I could shut it down from here, or make it start doing odd things. It’s not worth it though; it just draws more attention and puts everyone on edge. We have to make them think it’s just an ordinary night.”

“We can do that,” Taylor said, and the grin on her face was almost feral.

When the two reached the compound Karlie scaled a tree near one of the potential places she had found while Taylor started to check the perimeter. It would be a long night, but Karlie felt the first stirrings of adrenalin. She and Taylor would work well together, she thought.

It took less than half an hour for Karlie to figure out how the guards were moving. It was a simplistic pattern, and not one she would have chosen. She crept back down the tree and gestured to Taylor. It was time.

The door opened effortlessly as Karlie typed in the override key she had found earlier. “There’s a camera just as we go in,” she whispered. “I’m going to loop the feed for five minutes. Unless someone is watching the feed with eagle eyes, they won’t see the change.” Karlie did so in two keystrokes. She folded the laptop and put it back in her bag, nodding to Taylor as she did so.

Taylor crept forward, her gun unsheathed. Karlie followed her bouncing ponytail as they crept around corners, her own attention focused on anyone who may be following them. She wasn’t sure why they were there still, which made it easier for Taylor to lead.

Finally, they stopped as they reached an office that Karlie’s memory of the map told her was only a few doors away from the security office. Taylor gestured at it and Karlie knelt down, lock picks in her hand. She picked it in seconds. She was good, but she wasn’t that good. Something was wrong.

Taylor started forward once the door was open, but Karlie held out her arm to stop her. She shook her head. There was something wrong. A quick look at the security briefs told her why. The door was alarmed. As soon as they walked through, security would know.

“It’s alarmed,” Karlie whispered. “I can try to disarm it, but it’ll take at least ten minutes.”

Taylor nodded. “I’m going to another office. A lower level, so don’t worry about it being alarmed. Can you take this one out while I’m gone?”

“I can give you a thirty second window. Once you’re back, I’ll activate it,” Karlie said. Taylor gave her a thumbs up before disappearing around another corner. Karlie made her way into the shadow of one of the doors and started all of the preparations for Taylor’s return. She saw Taylor approaching just as she finished.

“Are you ready?” Taylor asked.

“You’ll have thirty seconds to get in and out as soon as I hit this button,” Karlie warned. “I can’t give you more without someone noticing.”

Taylor shrugged, “It’ll be enough.”

Karlie hit the button and Taylor disappeared into the office. Twenty-nine seconds. Then twenty-eight. Karlie wasn’t nervous, not really, but she didn’t particularly want to have to escape from what was essentially a fortress. It would be even worse if they had to kill anyone—this was US military, not THRUSH operations. Twenty-four seconds. She paged through the security computer’s records, aimlessly skimming classified government records. She read about a recent foray into North Korea as well as covert operations in China. Taylor rolled out of the room with only two seconds remaining.

“Did I make it?”

Karlie looked up from her computer. “You know you did.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Taylor said. “What were you doing?”

“Practicing my Chinese,” Karlie responded. “Should I bother taking their cameras down?”

Taylor shook her head. “Just whatever you need to do to get us out. No need to alarm them.”

“Did you get what we needed?” Karlie asked. The two of them stuck to the walls as they headed down the hallway. After three turns, their luck came to an end. Taylor found herself nose to nose with a guard.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. He lifted his radio to call for help. In the split second he looked down, Karlie raised her gun and shot him. He crumpled, making a large sound when he hit the ground.

“Napoleon won’t like that,” Taylor said.

“They’re sleeping darts. He’ll wake up in an hour or so. Now come on. Someone will notice if he isn’t on time.”

The rest of their way out was quiet. When they reached the car Taylor jumped into the driver’s seat and took off. “I’m calling Napoleon,” she said. “They’ll know someone was there, and they’ll be on high alert.”

Karlie took out her computer. “I had to do it. But I’ll erase any trace of us, at least as far as I can. I’ll be able to check back and erase his report in a few weeks, if that’s what Napoleon wants.”

Taylor nodded once, but it was jerky. Karlie studied her, hit by the sudden realization that her partner might actually be nervous about having to take down the guard. What was so special about that one guard? And why had they even been there in the first place?”

“Open Channel D,” Taylor said into her communicator.

“Channel D open,” a woman responded.

“Catastrophe,” Napoleon Solo’s voice was clear. “I take it you both survived.”

“We got everything you asked for. One guard saw us, though.”

“Is he still alive?”

“Asleep, at least for the moment. Knockout took him out fast. She’s in the middle of erasing any trace of us being there,” Taylor responded. “She thinks she can erase his statement when they put it in the record.”

“Don’t worry about it, either of you. She can finish what she’s doing, but the follow up won’t be necessary. Even if any of them suspect this may be an UNCLE job, they won’t have any way to prove it, and that’s all we need.”

Taylor flicked off her communicator. “Drink to a successful mission?”

“Hell yeah.”

Taylor leaned forward and turned on the radio. Country music started, and Taylor relaxed back into her seat. “I always listen to country at the end of a mission.”

“Everyone has their rituals.” Karlie’s was boxing. It was boxing that had brought her into UNCLE, and it was what she always did to remind herself that she was still the same girl she had been when she boxed in high school. It was an empty reminder, maybe, but one she needed.

“Are you allowed to tell me what we went in for?” Karlie asked.

“I am now,” Taylor said. “They keep Secret Service records there. One of THRUSH’s trees reached the president, and Napoleon wants to know who let it get that far.”

“Is he okay?” Karlie asked. She hadn’t heard anything about the president experiencing hallucinations and psychosis, but she had a feeling UNCLE could cover up anything it wanted, even that. Remembering her own experience with the trees, she shuddered. She didn’t envy the president if he was experiencing that.

“His secretary was on guard for it. He’s an UNCLE agent.” Taylor pulled into UNCLE’s parking lot. “I think I know which agent it was—he’s been suspected THRUSH for a few weeks now, but Napoleon didn’t want to act until he heard. He’ll alert our friends in DC to pick him up based on these documents.”

Karlie slid out of the car. She hadn’t realized it before, but she was exhausted. “How does a THRUSH agent get to be Secret Service anyway?”

“They don’t vet as carefully as we do. Let’s drop these off with Napoleon, and then we can go home for the evening.”

“It’s almost dawn,” Karlie pointed out.

“We’ll get the morning off,” Taylor said. “Or maybe we won’t. Either way.”

They didn’t enter through Del Floria’s. It was far too late—or too early, depending on how you looked at it—to be walking into a tailor’s. Instead, Taylor led her to Napoleon’s private entrance. “There are perks to being Chief Enforcement Agent,” she explained, although Karlie hadn’t asked.

They rode the elevator in silence. Karlie slumped slightly against the wall. She loved the work she did for UNCLE, and she loved hacking, but her body was exhausted. She hadn’t slept nearly enough after coming off the effects of the Christmas tree, and the night had been long. The elevator opened right into Napoleon’s office.

Illya was seated in Napoleon’s chair as Solo himself paced. “Ms. Swift, Ms. Kloss,” Illya greeted them. “You have the documents?”

Taylor pulled them out of her pocket. “All accounted for, thanks to Karlie.”

“I heard you used sleep darts,” Illya said. “Did they fire adequately?”

“A bit slower than your average bullet, but it was close range. Do they always go through fabric that easily?”

“Illya, Karlie, it’s too early for this,” Napoleon interrupted. “Is it who we suspected, Taylor?”

She nodded affirmatively. “Agent Fiori.”

“I’ll call the DC office. You two are free to go. Take the morning off. But I want your report on my desk by this time tomorrow.”

“Aye aye, cap’n,” Taylor muttered. “Come on, Knockout, I’ll drive you home.”

Karlie followed her back down the elevator and to the parking lot. “Taylor?”

The other girl hummed. “What’s up?”

“I was suspicious at first, both of this transfer and of a new partner. But I think we work well together.”

Taylor smiled at her, a smile so bright that it lit up her entire face. “You know what, Karlie Kloss? I think so too. I think that this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership, in fact.”


	2. The Cornfield Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karlie Kloss really hates getting knocked out, despite what her codename would suggest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, sorry that took forever.

Karlie opened her eyes to find herself lying face down on a wooden floor. Every inch of her ached. She pushed herself to her feet despite her protesting muscles and surveyed the room around her. It was made entirely of wood, or at least it appeared to be, and was large. She was alone. Her pockets were empty, her communicator and gun both gone. She reached up and touched one of her ears. Her earrings were still in place.

Illya had sent them to her office a few days before. They were small, unobtrusive studs. Their outwardly normal appearance hid their explosive capabilities. She put one in the keyhole of the door, turned the backing in the pattern she and Illya had devised, and waited. Thirty seconds later it exploded and what was left of the door swung open. Unbeknownst to her, a single spark flared up and ignited part of the barn wall. A small fire began. Karlie approached the door cautiously, not sure who may be waiting for her.

When she peered out, she realized that she was alone in what seemed to be a cornfield. She stepped outside and when no one immediately shot at her, she started running. Her sore and tired muscles complained but she continued, ducking through the rows of corn. She wanted to put as much distance between her and the barn as possible.

While she ran, she sorted through her memory. She didn't immediately remember how she had gotten to the barn, or anything after leaving UNCLE headquarters the night before. She had left late, stuck writing the report on her last mission with Taylor. She had left Del Floria's with a wave to the kindly man who worked there. She had started down the street, planning to take the subway home and-there. She had it. She had noticed someone tailing her and had wandered down a side street. They were already waiting there for her, though. Ten THRUSH agents all told were spread out throughout the alley, if her memory served. She had never stood a chance.

The edge of the cornfield was approaching. She stopped there and crouched down, looking to see where it may be safe to run from there. She was weaponless and had no way to contact UNCLE or Taylor. She was going to have to get out of this one entirely on her own. One week in New York and she had already been captured by THRUSH twice. Next time it was totally Taylor's turn.

There were no conveniently placed forests nearby for her to hide in or helicopters for her to commandeer, but there was a barn. This one was a proper one, she thought, not one meant for holding captive UNCLE agents. It would be a halfway decent place to hide for now, at least, to see if Taylor mysteriously appeared to save her. Or, barring that, to wait until nightfall and walk until she hit a farmhouse or a road. Karlie couldn't say she was happy about that possibility-she didn't really want to test her chances of finding a friendly person within a hundred miles.

She slid the door open just enough for her to sneak in and left it open behind her for a moment as she assessed her surroundings. There were three cows lying in hay and six stalls, three of which contained horses. Aside from that, and the requisite equipment it took to run a farm, the barn was empty. Satisfied, she shut the door fully behind her, hoping no one had noticed the minute or so it had been open. She snuck into one of the empty stalls, the one furthest from the door, and curled up to sleep.

Hours later she awoke just in time to see the last rays of sunlight. Night would be upon her soon. She stayed where she was for the moment, though, not even daring to stretch. There was a chance that whoever had kidnapped her had noticed that she was missing and was looking for her, or that someone would come into the barn to check on the animals. She heard nothing but the cows chewing and the horses occasionally moving around in their stalls. At last, she decided that it would be safe to move. She uncoiled herself and exited the stall.

She almost made it to the door before stopping to look back at the horses. She would move much faster with one of them, and if she could she would make sure it was returned. She grabbed a saddle and a bridle. She studied the three horses. Only one of them, a large brown draft of some sort, did not shy away. She saddled him quickly, thanking her lucky stars that UNCLE training had covered at least the basics of riding. With the help of a stool, she was able to swing herself onto his back and they were off.

Karlie knew little about where she was, but she did know she had to get as far away from the THRUSH farm as possible. She turned the horse, which she was calling Tacklor, in the opposite direction of the farm and began her journey. While speed was important, remaining undetected was crucial, and so she didn't push Tacklor hard. She also didn't want to exhaust him, since she didn't know how far she would be traveling that night. Knowing her luck, she wouldn't hit any signs of civilization for days.

In the New York office, Taylor was standing in the labs looming over Illya. "What do you mean you can't find her? Why didn't you put a tracking device on her? Or a microchip?"

"Microchips are for dogs, Swift," Illya said. "Your partner is not a dog."

"We are so getting her a collar if she keeps disappearing like this," Taylor muttered. To Illya she said, "I'm going upstairs to find out who we've pissed off lately. If you suddenly remember a tracking device in her shoe or something, let me know."

"No tracking device," Illya said, "but they do allow her to jump about a foot higher than the average."

Taylor left the office. She felt like Karlie being kidnapped was her fault, as though she should have done more to protect her. It was a useless urge. Karlie was an agent in her own right, and could probably protect herself better than Taylor could.

The problem with Karlie disappearing alone, presumably on her walk home, was that she had absolutely no clues as to where she should search for her. It was probable that THRUSH had taken her, but past that it would be incredibly hard to locate her, unless she checked in or they figured out who they had made mad in the last few days. That was a list that would probably take her hours to get through.

She was almost to her office when Cutthroat ran into her. Taylor took a step back. Zendaya was glaring at her. "Got your new partner killed, Slaylor? It's a shame. I had money on her lasting at least two weeks."

Taylor felt her lip curl. "Watch your back, Cutthroat. Don't bet on things you know nothing about."

She pushed her way past the other woman and strode away. She had work to do. Finding Karlie was more important than anything anyone said to her. And besides, she'd heard all the jokes before in the months since Selena had defected-or, as the story had spread in UNCLE, since she died. Taylor swallowed back the thick feeling of tears that welled up every time she remembered Selena's betrayal. She had more important things to focus on. She had to save Karlie.

A man she hadn't seen before was standing outside her office. "Agent Catastrophe," he said. "Napoleon sent me. A barn burned down in an area we believe to be THRUSH controlled. He wants you in his office immediately."

Taylor stared at him for a moment. She couldn't focus on anything but Karlie until she had found her partner, and she was certain Napoleon knew that. It dawned on her slowly that Napoleon likely thought the barn had something to do with Karlie. She had to stop herself from sprinting to his office. She didn't even bother to knock when she got there, just letting herself in immediately.

"Did you find her?"

Napoleon's chair was facing away from her. "Please sit down, Ms. Swift," he said.

She did so slowly. He wouldn't make her sit down for good news. The last time he had made her sit down was when they had confirmed that Selena was working for THRUSH. "What is it?"

He turned to face her, his face grim. "A barn in Iowa that was believed to be on a THRUSH farm burned down. A body was found inside."

"Karlie?"

"We don't know that yet," Napoleon said. "The remains seem to be about the same height and age, but we have yet to run Ms. Kloss's dental records. While we are waiting for results from the lab, I want you to fly to there and join the sweep of the surrounding areas. If anyone can locate any clues as to Ms. Kloss's whereabouts, I believe it is you."

Four hours later Taylor stepped off her flight. She was supposed to meet agents from the Cedar Rapids office. She could see four people watching her. One was a tall, slender woman, a second a man who looked like a linebacker, the third a reedy man, and the fourth a seemingly unassuming businessman. Taylor sighed. Something told her that this wasn't the Cedar Rapids welcoming committee.

Trying to seem nonchalant, she strolled over to the baggage claim. She hadn't checked any bags, instead keeping all of her necessary items-mostly weapons-in the bag slung over her back. It was easy, however, to walk towards the bags and stop just short of where the conveyor belt disappeared. It was even easier to slide onto the belt and disappear with the bags.

She jumped off on the other side of the gate and pushed past a startled employee. She had a head start, but not much of one. Any of the four THRUSH agents could be after her already. She took off, running towards the small door on the other side of the room that she assumed led to another part of the airport. As she ran she pulled her communicator out of her pocket.

"Open Channel D," she said. "This is Agent Catastrophe reporting from Iowa. It seems that some little birds may have been expecting me."

"Are you okay, Ms. Swift?" Napoleon asked.

"I'm great, if you ignore the four THRUSH agents on my tail. Can you get in contact with the Cedar Rapids office and call for backup?"

"Can do. Do you know where in the airport you're headed?"

Taylor took a second to look around at her surroundings. She had been running through white hallways, taking rights and lefts in a defensive formation. To her left were windows that looked out at the plains, and to her right was a door. She opened it and peeked out. It came out between a gift store and a fast food place.

"I'll be getting a snack, I think," she told Napoleon. "There's nothing like a little shopping to blend in somewhere in America."

Napoleon chuckled. "There should be an agent with you in about ten minutes. Enjoy your shopping."

Taylor entered the store and hid in the back, pretending she was looking at souvenir mugs. Her height was often an advantage, especially in fights, but when she had to try and look normal in situations like these, it was often a disadvantage. Everyone always remembered the tall girl. It was probably worse for Karlie, though, she thought while she looked at a truly hideous mug. Her heart clenched. Karlie. People in their line of work died or disappeared all the time, but Taylor didn't want Karlie to be dead. She didn't think she could just move on from the other woman, just forget about their potential as a team. She didn't want to have gotten another partner killed, and for real this time.

A woman was staring at her from across the room. She was shorter than Taylor by a few inches, but was more sturdily built. It was clear that she was a fighter. Everything from her stance to the bump in her nose suggested that. When she made eye contact with Taylor, the woman nodded. She made her way over slowly, seemingly casually, stopping to pick up a pen on the way and then to discard it on another table.

"Agent Catastrophe, I assume?" the woman asked when she was close enough. "I'm Agent Aranda."

"Nice to meet you," Taylor said.

The woman pulled a wallet out and showed Taylor her UNCLE credentials. "I hear you've been having some troubles with unwanted guests following you around."

Taylor nodded. "Are you a part of the search team?"

Agent Aranda shook her head. "I'm just transporting you to their base. I'm more of a fighter than a finder."

"That's not particularly Hufflepuff of you," Taylor said under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Have the search teams found anything?"

Agent Aranda lead the way out of the gift shop. "A farmer from a nearby barn appears to be missing a horse. A big draft one, not the best for riding but better than walking for miles. We believe Ms. Kloss may have taken him."

Taylor nodded. Her mind was elsewhere the second the other agent mentioned a horse. She had studied a map of the area on the flight, and she had an idea of where Karlie would have gone, especially if she was on horseback. Karlie was smart, smart enough to travel at night when the stars were out to navigate by. If she knew her partner, she would have gone in the opposite direction of the barn and then headed eastward.

"How far away is the base?" Taylor asked.

"About half an hour," Agent Aranda answered. "I have a car in the parking lot."

"Let's skip it," Taylor said. "I think I know where she would have gone."

The shorter agent hesitated for a moment before she nodded. "Okay. But I'll have to ask my superiors. I can't risk them thinking THRUSH managed to get to you before I did."

After radioing UNCLE headquarters Taylor and Agent Aranda were off, Taylor studying the map as they went. She had been studying it for the last ten minutes, as Aranda talked to UNCLE a short distance away. She already had it memorized, but didn't know what to do with her nervous energy. She just hoped that Karlie hadn't hurt herself on the trip-or worse, that she was that burned body in the barn. Something told Taylor that that wasn't the case. She had a feeling that Karlie was still alive-at least for the moment.

Karlie was still traveling. She had dismounted to allow Tacklor a break, but she knew that they would have to stop soon. She was both tired and hungry, and she knew that if she didn't allow herself rest or find something edible soon she was at risk of passing out. The last time she had eaten had been at least two days before when she and Taylor grabbed sandwiches at the canteen together. She wasn't sure how long she had been unconscious in the barn, but she didn't think it had been longer than a day.

Tacklor whinnied. "What's up, boy?" Karlie asked.

He stomped in reply. Karlie glanced around them, but there was nowhere to hide but the corn. Iowa was so goddamn flat, it seemed. The corn wasn't high enough to hide Tacklor, but if she bent down they might believe he was just a random horse.

A few moments later, she heard what she assumed Tacklor had. A car was coming. She crouched down even further. There was no way to know if the car was UNCLE, THRUSH, or belonged to a civilian. She would rather take her chances on the open road with Tacklor, at least for a little while longer.

The car stopped. She cursed under her breath. They'd seen Tacklor, or the disturbance the two of them had left in the corn. She was trying to decide whether to abandon him or to try to ride off when she heard her name.

"Karlie?"

"Taylor!" she shouted. Instantly she cursed herself. If it wasn't Taylor, she was about to have to deal fight her way out of a bad situation, and she wasn't sure she had the strength to do that.

Even as she was worrying, her partner crashed towards the corn to her. Taylor wrapped her in a huge hug. "Don't ever get captured again," she whispered in her ear.

Karlie pulled away to grin at her. "I'll try to give it a week. Taylor, meet Tacklor."

Taylor looked up at the horse. "You named him Tacklor?"

"Have a problem with it?"

Taylor rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I went to all this trouble to come to save you and here you are, naming a horse after me and having a jolly time."

From behind them, they heard the click of a safety being taken off of a gun. They froze simultaneously. "What a touching reunion," Agent Aranda said. "Drop your gun, Catastrophe. Kick it over here."

Taylor did, positioning herself so she was standing in front of Karlie. "Wild guess," she said, "but are you working for THRUSH?"

Agent Aranda smiled. "What can I say? The pay is better."

Taylor sighed. "Are you planning on killing us here, or are we going somewhere more fun?"

"I'll be escorting you to THRUSH headquarters. It's a pity. Imagine being the one to say that I killed Catastrophe and Knockout. I would be promoted above even my wildest dreams."

"You had better hope you're promoted for just bringing us back," Taylor said. "You won't be able to go back to UNCLE after this, and THRUSH's severance package is heavy on the sever, if you know what I mean."

Karlie pulled on Taylor's ponytail. "That was a terrible joke."

"Better than naming a horse Tacklor," Taylor retorted. "Speaking of, now would be a good time to say goodbye to him, I'm assuming." She reached down and squeezed Karlie's hand, pushing an activated tracker into it.

Karlie turned around to rub the horse. "Goodbye, Tacklor," she said. "You were a good mount. Sorry it had to end like this. I was hoping to ride into UNCLE headquarters on you, backlit by the sunset. It would have been pretty badass." As she rubbed him, she slid the tracker onto his saddle. At least that way UNCLE would know where she and Taylor had been, and would hopefully be able to tell that they had been together.

"Are you ready?" Agent Aranda demanded, impatient for the glory she was expecting, probably.

"Yeah," Karlie said. "Out of the frying pan and into the fire, and all that."

Taylor grabbed her hand, and they held onto each other until Aranda handcuffed them and shoved them into the back of the car. Karlie stayed still. She could have picked the cuffs, probably, even with her hands behind her back. Being on the road to THRUSH headquarters wasn't altogether terrible, though, especially with Taylor at her back.

Her partner was staring out the window. Karlie would have said she was memorizing their route, but they hadn't turned in half an hour. There was nothing to memorize but corn and desperation.

"Are we almost there?" Karlie asked.

"Yes," Aranda said.

"Good," Karlie said. "I'm hungry. No one left any food in that barn with me. It was pretty inconsiderate. Really, THRUSH owes me a meal or two, if you ask me. I'm not usually one to complain about service, but-"

"Will you shut up?" Aranda snapped. Her hands clenched even tighter on the wheel. Her fingers were already white from how hard she was holding it. Taylor nodded at Karlie, a clear sign to keep riling up the agent. If they could overpower her, Karlie thought, then they would be in business. She was tired and wanted the whole thing to be over, although she thought Taylor might still want Aranda to take them all the way to THRUSH headquarters.

Karlie grinned. If Taylor was just going to stare out the window, she was going to have some fun at her expense.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Karlie asked. She raised her eyebrows and smirked at Taylor.

"Sure," Aranda said. She sighed. "It had better be something useful."

Karlie leaned forward and in a faux whisper said, "Taylor Swift farts in bed."

Aranda coughed, taken aback, and Taylor used the opportunity to swing her cuffed hands under her legs and in front of her. She wrapped her arms around Aranda's neck and yanked.

Eventually, she slumped unconscious. Taylor grinned at Karlie. "So, you think I fart in bed?"

"You're always welcome to prove me wrong, if you want." Karlie found Aranda's UNCLE communicator in her pocket. "Open Channel D."

"Channel D open," a woman said.

"Patch me through to Napoleon, would you, doll?" Karlie looked Taylor in the eyes as she spoke, waggling her eyebrows at her.

"Napoleon Solo here," the man himself said. "Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"

"Agent Knockout reporting for duty," Karlie said. "Agent Catastrophe present as well. Agent Aranda is also on the scene, but is currently incapacitated."

"And where is the scene, Ms. Kloss?" Napoleon asked.

"No clue. But that's all I get? No 'Karlie, it's so good to hear you're alive!' 'Karlie, how did you escape?'"

Illya's voice came on the line. "You used your earrings, yes?"

"They worked like a charm. Thanks, Illya."

As Karlie talked, Taylor shifted Aranda into the passenger seat and handcuffed the THRUSH agent after freeing both herself and Karlie. Taylor took the driver's seat and wheeled the car around, heading back the way they'd come.

"Good to know," Napoleon said. "Are you headed back to the UNCLE base of operations there?"

"Yeah," Karlie said. "Actually, I think I see a couple of agents now."

The land was so flat that they could see the cluster of UNCLE agents. Karlie guessed they had swarmed where she and Taylor had left the tracker. She felt a somewhat disproportionate amount of joy that Tacklor was safe where she had left him.

"It was good speaking to you, Ms. Kloss," Napoleon said. "Close Channel D."

"They found Tacklor."

Taylor nodded. "I guess it's easier when everything's flat."

Taylor pulled the jeep up close. The agents trained their guns on them until Karlie and Taylor provided their UNCLE IDs. Taylor explained the entire Agent Aranda situation while one of the agents looked over Karlie.

"I'm Hailee," she said. She was shorter than Karlie and had her hair pulled up into a ponytail. Karlie tried to memorize her face, but she was exhausted from the day's events. "They call me the Trinity."

Karlie nodded sleepily like that made sense. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, but if she knew Taylor the other agent already had some grand plan laid out. She looked over at her partner, and that was all she needed to confirm her suspicions. Taylor was leaning over a tablet, pointing things out to the three agents clustered around her.

Hailee followed her gaze. "I wanted to be like her when I first joined UNCLE."

"Yeah?" Karlie asked. She winced as Hailee dabbed at a cut above her eyebrow. She hadn't even noticed it, the pain covered by the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

"She's really good at her job."

"The best." Taylor was the best-she wasn't Napoleon's second command for no reason, but she was also just incredibly impressive. Karlie had seen her as a leader, and as an independent agent. Nothing ever stopped Taylor Swift from completing a mission. As she yawned again she was jealous of Taylor for that. She never seemed to need a break.

"I wanted to be dedicated like that. She actually helped train me-I used to be based in New York. But then I realized that this is all she has, you know?"

Karlie shook her head, because she didn't believe that. Taylor had her cats, who she adored, and she talked to her family on the phone on Tuesdays at six. Karlie had listened in on the last conversation when she was sprawled on Taylor's couch, eating vegetarian burgers. Taylor had a lot of things outside of UNCLE-she just happened to be scarily good at what she did.

"She never has a boyfriend, and she would just go home to her cat every night. And she didn't really try to be friends with any of the other agents. It was just her and Selena all the time-" Hailee cut herself off. "Well. You know what happened with Selena, of course."

"I've heard rumors," Karlie said.

Taylor called for her then, and Karlie slapped the band aid Hailee was holding over her own eyebrow. She stalked over to Taylor. Taylor leaned into her almost unconsciously, and Karlie found herself leaning back. Sometimes she felt stupid around her partner, like Taylor had become her own personal sun in the week they had known each other.

"Are you up to one more mission before we head home?" Taylor asked.

Karlie really wanted to sleep. "Let's do it, boss."

Taylor's answering smile was enough for Karlie to be okay with the fact that she probably wouldn't see a bed for at least another ten hours. She explained the plan, pointing to various agents as she did. They smiled welcomingly for the most part, but Karlie didn't want to relax around them. She had no way of knowing if Agent Aranda was the only one working for THRUSH.

An hour later, Karlie was strapped back into the jeep next to Taylor. Taylor was leaning against her. It was for show, because it made Taylor look weak or tired, but it also gave her the chance to whisper in Karlie's ear. She kept her distracted the whole time with cat puns and her feelings on people who altered recipes with food coloring. Karlie was so busy smiling that she barely felt tired.

The agent driving them didn't speak for the first half hour of the trip. Finally, "We're almost there." He pulled the jeep off to the side of the road. "This is where I leave you. I'll be here for backup, and there will be agents stationed on the only other road leading out."

They had stopped near an abandoned farm house, which looked more like the setting of a bad horror movie than THRUSH headquarters. Karlie knew better than to underestimate THRUSH, however.

She had a tiny communications device in her ear, which would allow her to talk to Taylor and the outside UNCLE agents. She also had a phone in her back pocket. She wouldn't be able to do as much as with a tablet, but the phone was easier to hide. She and Taylor just had to get in long enough to blow it up or get blown up, whichever came first.

Taylor was already out of the jeep and walking towards the farmhouse. Karlie scrambled to follow her. There was no way that they could sneak up on the THRUSH agents, and so they were still handcuffed, as though they had escaped from Agent Aranda and wandered until they found a building.

Karlie would have preferred to get in and out without seeing another THRUSH agent, but in the flat land around them that would be downright impossible. She thought that Taylor might have an ulterior motive as well.

They were about five feet from the door when Karlie lost consciousness. Here we go again, she thought as she fell.

She awoke tied to a chair. She had a crick in her next from the way her head had lolled forward, and her wrists already hurt from the rope she was bound in. She lifted her head despite the pain in her neck, and realized she was completely alone in the room. She cursed. They were keeping the two of them apart.

She turned her attentions to her surroundings, hoping that she would be able to at least escape. The room was completely empty aside from her chair and another chair that was facing her. The only upside to the situation was that she actually felt rested, despite the fogginess in her head.

"Taylor?" she said aloud, hoping that the other agent would be able to respond via her comm.

Instead, a male agent answered. "Agent Knockout, this is Agent Charming. Can you tell us where you are?"

"It's an empty room," she responded. "Tay-Agent Catastrophe-isn't with me. I'm tied to a chair. I haven't figured out how to escape yet. I can't reach the knots, and there's nothing of use in here."

"Let us know if there's anything we can do to assist you," the agent said. "We're ready to come in whenever you need us to."

Karlie grimaced. She would prefer to avoid any UNCLE casualties, which would be inevitable if they stormed in. She would also like to avoid two specific UNCLE casualties, namely herself and Taylor.

"No assistance required at the present time," Taylor's voice cut in. "I'm in the air ducts, on my way to Agent Knockout."

"The air ducts?" Karlie asked. "Really?"

"Not actually air ducts," Taylor said, "unless they usually store their weapons with their breathing air. I think they're actually escape tunnels. Hold on, I think I see you."

Taylor dropped from the ceiling, landing directly in front of Karlie. She smiled at the agent. "Told you I would come for you," she said. She pulled a knife from her boot and started in on the ropes.

Karlie rolled her eyes. "You always have to burst in like a hero, don't you?"

Taylor shrugged. "Not my fault they didn't search everywhere." She raised her eyebrows a few times at Karlie, and she got a pretty good idea of where the agents had failed to search her. Taylor also produced two guns, which were not traditional THRUSH weaponry. "They also left these up there, so we're pretty well armed."

Karlie's hands were at last free and she stood, rubbing them to return sensation to them. "What's the plan, Stan?"

Taylor pointed to the door. "Shall we go for a stroll?"

Karlie lifted the gun she had taken from Taylor. "Let's do it."

Taylor opened the door slowly, giving Karlie a chance to hit the guard standing outside squarely with the butt of her gun. He dropped like a stone. The halls were quiet. Karlie supposed it might have been because there was nothing of value to protect in Iowa, not like there was in New York, but her instincts told her that was not the answer.

"Something's wrong," she said.

Taylor nodded. She was crouching as she walked, and was practically pressed against the wall. Karlie copied her, and the two were practically slinking through the hall. They hadn't found any more guards by the time they reached the door.

"Not how I pictured this would go," Karlie said, and Taylor nodded. Taylor was holding both guns to protect them as Karlie hacked into the panel by the door. As she worked, she felt Taylor tense up. Someone was coming, but she had to trust her partner to deal with it.

"Agent Catastrophe," the THRUSH agent said. His voice was mellow and almost warm. It sounded like he and Taylor could have been friends meeting on the street rather than in a secure compound with Taylor pointing two guns at him.

"Justin," Taylor said. "So you did end up with THRUSH."

He scowled at her. "The pay is better than UNCLE."

Taylor inclined her head. "I'm particularly fond of the severance package, myself. Are you planning on getting fifty of your men out here to kill us?"

Justin shook his head. "Just the opposite. I'm planning on letting you go."

"Really," Taylor said. "And then shoot us on the way out?"

"We aren't planning on killing you, at least not for the next few days or so. We've seen your arsenal outside, and frankly we don't have enough here to be worth the fight."

The door opened without Karlie having managed to disable the security. She and Taylor spun towards it. Taylor didn't seem inclined to trust the man-and Karlie was wondering at that, the fact that Taylor was talking to an ex-UNCLE agent turned THRUSH. They couldn't be that common, but Taylor seemed to know all of them.

Karlie took a gun back from Taylor and grabbed her free hand. "Run," she whispered.

Taylor did. The two made it back to the UNCLE cars without even being shot at. Everyone was on edge as they returned to UNCLE headquarters. Five minutes down the road, the THRUSH compound exploded.

"Guilty," Karlie said. Taylor said nothing.

In fact, it wasn't until they were on the plane back to New York that Taylor said anything at all.

"THRUSH is planning something," she said. "And we're right in the middle of it, Karlie."


	3. The Kennedy Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karlie and Taylor's mission started with a simple protection detail. It didn't end that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, sorry for the delay on this. It's kind of heavy, but there's a lot of Karlie backstory! Check out the end note for a discussion of what goes down in the chapter if you're worried about triggers. You can catch me on twitter @sapphickloss or the swift life as feelingso_gatsby. Without further delay, The Kennedy Affair!

Taylor’s dress was long, blue, and low cut. Karlie’s eyes stayed on her from across the room, trying not to look down to where Taylor’s hand was clasped in Senator Conor Kennedy’s. 

Jane Hernandez, the other senator from New York, leaned over to Karlie, “So, once you two are done protecting us, what do you do?”

“We head home to get some sleep, I guess,” Karlie said. “Taylor likes to debrief in her living room with her cats, so I guess we’ll end up doing that too. But I think I see the ambassador from Bulgaria over there, and he owes me a ten.”

Jane raised her eyebrow and started to ask what for, but they were interrupted by the sound of a glass shattering. Karlie had pushed Jane behind her and reached for the gun strapped to her thigh by the time she registered that everything was okay and that it was Taylor herself who had broken the glass. With the high ceilings and multitude of windows in the ballroom, the sound had echoed and worried Karlie more than she would like to admit.

Taylor’s voice carried across the room. “I’m so sorry, Mister—what did you say your name was?”

Jane touched Karlie’s arm lightly. “Would you like to dance?”

Karlie nodded and lead her to the floor, but as they spun around she looked over Jane’s head rather than into her eyes, still surveying the room. Taylor could be clumsy, but never on the job. She had broken the glass on purpose. 

“What are you looking at?” Jane asked.

Karlie spun her around. “Do you see the man over there? At your four o’clock?”

“Yes,” Jane said. “Do you think he’s here to hurt Conor?”

“No,” Karlie said. “He’s here to serve as a distraction. No real THRUSH agent would be so obvious. He’s an arms dealer. He’s been smuggling guns into the US for five or six years now. He’s gotten guns to most of the gangs in New York, plus quite a few outside as well. This has all been at THRUSH’s bequest, of course. Even when they cannot actively cause the trouble, they like stirring the pot until the trouble causes itself.”

“If you know all of that why don’t you just take him into custody?” Jane asked.

“He’s low level. If we take him, they’ll have him replaced in minutes. Fighting THRUSH operatives like him is like fighting the hydra. Cut off one head and another two pop up in its place. But with him, we can mark all of his weapons and keep an eye on what the larger plan might be.”

“And what is their larger plan?” Jane smiled at a woman over Karlie’s shoulder. She was pretty sure it was one of the deposed princesses—but that was a different affair.

“Their largest plan is world domination. And my larger plan is to explain to you why I know who is about to try to kill you, and why I haven’t stopped them before—NOW!” The last word came out as a shout as she pushed Jane to the floor and landed on her, cradling Jane’s head in one hand to soften its impact. Karlie stayed down even as her instincts were yelling at her to run, to find who was shooting and take them out. She was there to protect Jane from the hail of bullets. 

Jane hadn’t even had time to register her shock before Karlie tackled her. Across the room, Taylor had pushed Conor to the ground as well, but had left him to the care of two secret service men. She kept close to the ground as she headed to the closest exit, following the woman who had fired the first shot.

She had her back to the door, still firing at the crowd like it would do her any good. Taylor knew she hadn’t been seen, and she was counting bullets as they made their way across the ballroom. She would have to stop to reload soon. Taylor pulled a knife from under her dress. She knew Karlie would laugh at her for bringing a knife to a gunfight. She felt a sudden pang, wondering if her partner was okay. She pushed it back. Karlie Kloss was a grown woman and an UNCLE agent in her own right. She could take care of herself.

Taylor snuck through the same door the shooter had and felt a sudden weight on her back. She spun, pulling at the arm around her neck. This dislodged the woman, who went flying. She didn’t even have a chance to get up before Taylor was there, her knife against the woman’s throat.

“Don’t move,” Taylor warned. “Did THRUSH send you?”

The woman nodded almost imperceptibly, but kept her mouth stubbornly shut. Taylor took the opportunity to study her. She was short and her muscles were those of a gymnast, not a fighter. Her hands were shaking.

“Have you killed anyone before?”

The woman shook her head.

“Good. You still haven’t. If you’re smart, you’ll find some other line of work. Shaking hands don’t make for straight bullets.” With that, Taylor hit her in the back of her neck, knocking her out.

Back in the ballroom, the hail of bullets had stopped once the various secret service members and UNCLE agents had realized that no one was actually firing at them anymore. Karlie had left Jane with two secret service members while she arrested two of the other THRUSH agents she recognized. They had been easy to identify. Rather than trying to protect the civilians around them, they had been trying to stir up chaos. From what she knew of them, the two agents were higher up on the THRUSH totem pole than she would have expected for a messy job like this.

When Taylor returned, she found Karlie directing clean up teams and soothing the guests who remained. “Where are Jane and Conor?” she asked.

“Secret Service took them to the safe house. Did you get the shooter?”

“Some agents are picking her up off the floor now. I would be surprised if she knows anything. I’m pretty sure she was a throwaway agent meant to die tonight.”

“I was thinking the same,” Karlie said. “Especially when she started shooting—“

“It was scary, I know.” They had both been expecting someone more experienced, not haphazard shots fired seemingly randomly.

Not that,” Karlie said. “She was shooting at Jane, not at Conor.”

“At Jane? There’s no reason, not like Conor. He’s the one always spoiling for a fight on the Senate floor.”

“Taylor,” Karlie said. Her eyes were hard. Taylor couldn’t look away. “She’s an openly lesbian senator. What more do they need?”

The sinking feeling in Taylor’s stomach told her: nothing. They didn’t need anything else. She and Karlie were used to dealing with plots meant to destroy the world or bring down foreign governments, not hate crimes. Soon after, she left Karlie to finish the clean-up. She slipped into a bathroom, but the Secret Service guards around never saw her leave.

They never saw her enter the safe house either, and didn’t notice her until she was sitting next to Jane with tea and cookies.

“Miss Swift?” The Secret Service man was young. She could tell even with his black suit and omnipresent sunglasses.

“Hi,” she said. “Have you seen Karlie yet?”

“How did you get in here?”

“Air ducts. Which, by the way, are clearly not meant to hold a full grown woman, but I figured it out. If you want to check my plans for the security here, you’ll see that I clearly and explicitly stated that the air duct entrance and exit should be covered at all times. Also, I had time to bake cookies before you noticed I was here. What kind of security team are we running here, Agent?”

He blushed. “I’ll post someone where you said, Miss Swift.”

“Thank you. And, for the record, it’s Agent Catastrophe. There’s no need to let the THRUSH agents who know my real name know where this safe house is, yes?”

He stuttered an affirmative reply and backed out of the room as quickly as he could, leaving Taylor alone with Jane.

“You were almost scary,” Jane said.

Taylor stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes. “Am I scary yet?”

Jane started to smile, but stopped herself. Her expression turned serious. “Agent Catastrophe, can I ask you something?”

“Call me Taylor. And of course you can.”

Jane nodded, her eyes staring off into space. Taylor wondered if she had ever had someone shoot at her. Sometimes it was hard to remember that not everyone lived the life she did. Jane was almost forty. Taylor would be lucky if she lived to be thirty. 

After almost a full minute of silence Jane spoke, “Karlie said they were going to kill me.”

Taylor didn’t want to say anything. She wanted to give Jane a cookie and have everything stay easy. She had gotten used to surface level friendships and avoiding the hard questions since Selena left. “Yeah,” she said. “We think they were aiming for you, not Senator Kennedy as we had originally thought.”

“Why?”

It always came back to the why. “We don’t know yet. It was a messy affair. They lost every agent they sent into that building. There’s no reason to do something like that unless it was to cover something else up.”

“But why me specifically?”

Taylor ran a hand through her hair. She hated conversations like these. It was why she almost never did protection detail. “It’s possible that they were trying to brand it as a hate crime. Something like this, especially if we hadn’t been there to make sure you survived, is the kind of thing people riot over.”

“A riot.” Jane took a cookie. “Why would they spark a riot? Is all they want chaos? I thought they were trying to take over the world, not ruin it.”

“For THRUSH, they’re often the same thing.” Taylor knew that all too well. They’d ruined her life, after all. “But the riots would have been good cover for something. What’s going on in New York this weekend?”

Jane shrugged. “Just the benefit, as far as I know. Conor and I were supposed to fly back right after it originally. Everything important is happening in Washington.”

While Taylor racked her brain for something that could have caused someone to attack Jane, Karlie was a bit busy hanging by one hand from the top of a building. She swore. But it was fun, too, in a way. She kicked her legs forward, trying to get leverage on the side of the building. One of her heels fell off and she was able to get her toes into a small crack between the bricks.

She reached up desperately with her other hand. If she got both hands up there she could half pull herself up and half climb up. She was almost there, her fingertips just inches from the top when two heavy boots entered her line of vision.

“Agent Knockout,” a deep voice said. “Glad to see you’re still hanging in there.”

Despite her surprise, Karlie had managed to get both hands on the ledge. “Who are you?” she asked. She was feeling for a spot to put her other foot.

“A friend,” the man said. She wondered absently if that meant he wasn’t going to kill her when she got to the top. 

“Can’t say I have many of those.” There! Her other foot was safe for the moment.

“You have a treacherous friend. Taylor Swift is not who she seems.”

“We’re spies,” Karlie grunted. “That’s pretty much her job.”

“And so you’ve never wondered what happened to Selena Gomez?”

For a moment, she wondered if falling would be preferable to having this conversation. “Agent Arsyn is deceased. It happened in the line of duty. Agent Catastrophe was cleared of any wrongdoing.”

“What if I told you that Selena wasn’t as dead as she seemed to be?”

Karlie was almost back to the top. She didn’t often hate her height, but it was really a detriment to efficiency here. “I would call bullshit. Even if she’s changed her name and is living in Timbuktu the UNCLE Selena Gomez is dead.” She hauled her shoulders over.

“Believe what you want, Agent,” the man said. When she looked up again, he was gone. She had never seen his face. 

“Damn,” Karlie said. “Now I have to catch two THRUSH agents.” She strolled off to do just that.

“Oh,” Taylor said to Jane back at the safe house. “Oh.”

“Oh what?” Jane asked.

“That bill that’s going through the Senate tomorrow. The one about protecting children from military exposure—“

“It’s stopping those who are under eighteen from going to military schools where the focus is solely on war rather than on education standards,” Jane said. “It’s a good reform, but it’ll effect maybe two schools in the country.”

“Which two?” Taylor asked.

“I don’t remember the names. I don’t really see how this is relevant, though. I was going to vote yes, but my vote wasn’t necessary. They probably wouldn’t have even delayed the vote if I hadn’t been able to make it.”

“But I will bet you anything that those two schools are THRUSH. We’ve seen schools like that before, mostly in Russia and tiny countries they had a large amount of control over. They take children when they’re barely old enough to read and teach them to kill. They’re very effective against UNCLE. Most agents hesitate before taking them down.”

Jane studied Taylor’s face carefully. She couldn’t tell whether the woman was one of the agents who hesitated or not. She tried to push it out of her mind, but she couldn’t sit near Taylor or Karlie without remembering how dangerous both of the women really were. 

Taylor grinned wryly as if guessing Jane’s thoughts. “This is life and death. I hope you understand that better now.”

“Honey, I’m home!” Karlie called. She strolled in with a shit eating grin on her face. 

“Stop bleeding on the carpet.”

“Are you okay?” Jane’s eyes were wide and her hands were shaking.

“She’s fine,” Taylor said. “It’s not her blood.”

“Mostly,” Karlie said. “I scraped my knee when I had to climb back onto a roof.”

“You get all the fun.” Taylor studied her for a moment then pouted. “Are those my boots?”

“I went back to your apartment and fed Mere and Olivia.”

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Can you believe that my cats like her more than me?”

“Shocking,” Jane said. She was biting her lip and looking away from Karlie, though.

“What’s wrong?” Karlie asked. Jane was still looking away, so Karlie folded her long legs with all of the grace of a giraffe to sit on the floor.

“It’s just that you’re risking your lives to protect me. And I know the secret service does as well, but it feels different with you.”

“Different how?” Karlie glanced at Taylor, who was frowning. She flicked an eyebrow up.

“They aren’t really supposed to talk to us when they’re duty. It’s hard to get to know them. But you two are friends. You share cats. And you almost got shot and ended up almost falling off a building, just to protect me. But there are so many people that no one is protecting at all. Like those children you were talking about. Who’s watching over them and taking away their nightmares?”

“You deserve our protection,” Taylor said. “Don’t tell yourself otherwise. You deserve to be safe. But so do those children. And that’s what Karlie and I are going to do once we have you secured. We’re going to save them.” 

She ignored Karlie’s raised eyebrows and her desperate mouthing of the words “What children?” Jane was still refusing to look at either of them. When Taylor looked into her eyes, she imagined she saw Selena, young and scared and not sure how any of this was supposed to work. She blinked hard and it was Jane again, a state senator who was out of her depth but not defeated.

“We’ll do everything in our power to make sure everyone gets out of this okay,” Karlie said.

“And what’s your definition of not okay? Not dead?”

Taylor sighed. “Sometimes you can’t ask for anything more.”  
Jane still looked discomfited, but Taylor turned to Karlie. “Can you double check to make sure the safe house is fortified? Then we’re getting on a plane to Utah.”

Karlie raised one of her arched eyebrows and said, “Utah?”

Taylor’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “We’ve got a cleanup in aisle four.”

It wasn’t exactly a cleanup. They were about twenty-five miles out from Salt Lake City, and Karlie was watching security guards from her place in a tree. She had figured out their security early on, mostly because there wasn’t really anything to guard. They weren’t trying to keep people out. They were trying to keep them in.

Taylor was already in the building, face to face with THRUSH operatives and grinning away. She was supposed to be an English teacher. Not that the school had any real classes like English, but Taylor spoke at least six languages—and those were only the ones Karlie had heard personally.

She saw a flash of movement. Someone was running through the trees with little care for the loud snapping of branches and the crunch of leaves underfoot. 

It only took a split second for Karlie to decide to follow them, whoever it was. She swung herself down from the tree and landed silently on the balls of her feet. Keeping low to the ground and near the trees, she followed them. 

Inside, Taylor was lying her ass off. “I love teaching!” 

The woman across from her raised an eyebrow. “And how long have you been an educator?”

“Three years,” she responded. “Ever since I got my degree. I did my student teaching before that, of course, and I used to work at summer camps. But three years officially!” She winced a little bit internally. Oversharing was one tell-tale sign of a liar, but it fit the character she had decided on.

“A lot of the students here have special needs.” The woman’s name was Christiane Romero, or at least that was the alias she was using at the time. The students, however, called her Ms. Fear. “Do you have any experience dealing with students outside the norm?”

“Do you mean special education?” Taylor asked. To tell the truth, she hadn’t expected this to be a real job interview, and she hadn’t expected that they would couch the concept of we are training these children to be killers in language like this. That wasn’t very politically correct of them.

“Sure,” Ms. Fear said. There was a knock at the door. “Come in!”

The man who walked in didn’t look like a soldier, but he moved like one. “I’m afraid to say that one of the students has run away,” he said.

Ms. Fear sighed and shook her head like this was something happened every day. “Katherine again, I presume?”

Taylor wondered if there was any way she could get her phone out and text Karlie. She hoped the other woman had already noticed Katherine and was with her. They couldn’t save everyone. That wasn’t how this business worked, not ever. But maybe they could save someone. 

The soldier nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

Ms. Fear addressed her next comment to Taylor. “Katherine is one of our most challenged students. As much as we want to help her, it can be so hard to help one who doesn’t wish for it.”

Taylor nodded, but part of her was furious. She felt that if she looked down she would see the blood staining her hands, and she didn’t want that for any of these children. She especially didn’t want it for Katherine.

“We’ll have to go looking for her, I suppose. She won’t be hard to find around here. There is some tree cover, but nothing like you must have seen up north.”

Taylor nodded politely. “There aren’t a lot of trees in the city.” She had actually grown up on a Christmas tree farm, and was thus very familiar with how tree coverage amongst smaller trees worked, but she didn’t bother saying anything about that. 

Ms. Fear seemed to be studying her. Taylor’s stomach always churned nervously in moments like this. After so many years with UNCLE, it was hard to know who would recognize her from a previous affair or a photo in a file. There was a reason no one ever really retired from a job like hers.

“I’ll bring you with us. The way you do with a girl like Katherine will say more than any interview ever could.”

“Okay!” Taylor tried to keep her character’s pep up.

Ms. Fear gestured to the soldier who held the door open for Ms. Fear and Taylor to leave. He followed them, explaining the layout of the grounds to Taylor and describing all of Katherine’s favorite places to hide. Taylor listened closely, perfecting the image in her mind of the school and its grounds. 

It didn’t take long for Karlie to get the girl she was following in her sights. She was about ten, maybe twelve, and moving far faster than she should have been able to. She was moving too quickly for stealth, but all the same Karlie could see the way she was walking carefully, putting her feet down around twigs and leaves as much as she could.

“Going somewhere?” Karlie called once she was confident the girl couldn’t outrun her.

She spun, her fear clear in her eyes. She started to bolt, but Karlie was able to grab her arm. “Who are you?” the girl spit out.

Karlie had over one hundred aliases. She had her codename, and the names she went by for every single social situation outside of work. She disregarded all of them. “My name is Karlie Kloss,” she said. “I’m here to get this school shut down.”

That seemed to be the right answer. The girl stopped struggling, and Karlie released her. Her arm had been far too muscular for someone that small. “Are you from the government?”

“Yeah,” she said. Technically UNCLE was a part of many governments. “Can I ask what you’re running away from?”

The name the girl responded with made Karlie shiver. “Ms. Fear.”

It took a few seconds for Karlie to get her breathing under control as the girl watched her curiously. Not here, she thought. Not here. 

“I’m getting you out of here.” Karlie grabbed the girl’s hand and started walking faster than was probably advisable to sneak off of the school’s grounds. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She wasn’t going to leave this girl to Ms. Fear’s mercy. She even forgot about Taylor.

“Where are we going?”

“I have a motel room near here. You can hide out there. They won’t find you.”

“They always do.” The girl’s small voice sounded so quiet, so defeated that Karlie had to turn to look at her. “They have a tracker in me.”

It was the word in that made Karlie finally see sense. “Show me your forearm.”

She did. Her pale skin made the purplish mark, almost like a bruise, readily apparent. “That’s how they always find me.”

She sounded so defeated that Karlie’s heart hurt. “What’s your name?” 

“Katherine.”

“Okay, Katherine, listen closely. I am going to get you out of here, and I am going to get that thing out of you. I can’t do it yet, but I know someone who can. I just need you to trust me.”

It was clear from Katherine’s eyes that she wasn’t going to trust any adults anytime soon. “You can’t remove them.”

Karlie kneeled down so that her eyes were level with Katherine’s. She held out her own left arm and pointed to a small, circular scar. “You can,” she said. “You can get rid of her mark Katherine, I promise.”

Katherine just stared at it for a moment. Then she reached out to trace it with one finger. “You really did get rid of it,” she breathed.

“I really did,” Karlie affirmed. “I won’t lie to you, it hurt a lot. But it was worth knowing that they would never have that power over me again. And I’ll make sure they don’t have it over you.”

Katherine’s eyes were so wide and full of wonder that it almost broke Karlie’s heart when she shut down again. “I have to go back. I can’t be with you when they find me.”

She was right, as much as it hurt Karlie to send her back to that place. Then she remembered Taylor. “When you go back, find Taylor Swift. She’ll be a new teacher. You can trust her.”

“Taylor Swift,” Katherine repeated, and Karlie knew she would remember it. “Thank you, Ms. Kloss.”

“Call me Karlie,” she said. “That’s what all my friends call me.”

Everything Karlie had done since joining and UNCLE, and even before, was worth it for that smile on Katherine’s face. “Thank you, Karlie.”

She grinned. “You’ll see me soon, I promise. You won’t have to stay in that place much longer.”

Katherine nodded, somber again, and turned to vanish back into the trees. This time Karlie couldn’t hear her at all. Watching her walk away was hard. Turning to leave herself was even harder. If they were searching the grounds for Katherine, it was a bad idea for Karlie to be there at all.

Her communicator beeped. Taylor’s voice came through. “Knockout, we’re searching the grounds. You need to get out now.”

She turned her pen to acknowledge the message.

Taylor’s voice came through again. “I went off to search by myself but there are soldiers everywhere.”

This time Karlie responded. “Check the northwest corner. Knockout out.”

Taylor didn’t respond, but Karlie knew she would find Katherine. It gave her plenty of time to slip into the shadows and away from the school entirely. She had never expected that protecting a senator would lead her back to one of these places.

Of course Taylor was able to find Katherine right where Karlie said she would be. The girl was walking back towards the school on her own. She was small and blond, and almost reminded Taylor of a younger version of herself, or of Karlie.

“Katherine!” she called.

The girl looked up. She seemed bored, almost. “Who’re you?”

“My name’s Taylor. Um, Ms. Swift. I’m a new teacher.”

She seemed to light up at Taylor’s name. “And they’re letting you search for me alone?”

“Yes?” Taylor dragged the word out a bit. She was certain she was alone, but she wasn’t sure why Katherine would want to know.

“Oh, good. Karlie told me to find you.”

At the sound of Karlie’s name, Taylor relaxed. She always trusted Karlie’s decisions. The younger agent had proved herself completely capable immediately. “She does that. Did she say why?”

“She said you’re going to get me out.”

Taylor nodded. “I am.”

Katherine smiled at that. “But first you have to drag me back.”

Taylor did. Ms. Fear seemed impressed with her, and offered her the job immediately. “You start tomorrow,” she said. “You’ll have a room in the school. When would you like to move in?”

Taylor wanted one more night with Karlie, with her partner breathing in from the next bed over and assuring Taylor that everything would be okay. She also knew she couldn’t have that, not really. “Is today okay?”

Ms. Fear’s smile seemed predatory. “Today is perfect.”

The school made Taylor sick. It made her grateful for her own small town school, as difficult as it had been for her to make friends. At least she hadn’t practiced torture techniques during math class or debated tactical stealth over lunch. Her fingers were practically itching to write her report and get this school shut down. More than that, she found herself wanting to tell Karlie about it.

Her partner had been oddly radio silent. Taylor knew she was doing her part, because missives kept turning up in her room where she least expected them with confidential security information, notes on where guards were posted, and, once, a recipe for lasagna.

Karlie was still in the motel outside town, but she wasn’t spending all of her time focused on the mission. She was making some phone calls. And the recipient of the first one had just arrived.

Jourdan Dunn had once told Karlie “No offense, but I hope I am never again the same country, let alone the same place, as you.” In her immaculate accent, it had almost sounded like a compliment. But she had shown up to the same coffee shop when Karlie had asked her to, despite refusing to actually pick up her phone.

When Karlie walked in Jourdan was in a corner with sunglasses on and a newspaper in front of her face. Karlie still knew her immediately, and even after all the years that had passed she still remembered her coffee order. 

When she brought it over, Jourdan only looked up from her paper for a second. “Make it fast, Karlie. I told myself I would never do this again.”

Karlie sat down before speaking. “Yeah, well. We also said we would never let Ms. Fear hurt anyone again.”

That got Jourdan’s attention. “Ms. Fear is active again?”

Even years out of UNCLE training, her instincts were still the same. If Karlie hadn’t trained with her, she never would have seen the way Jourdan tensed for a second, surveyed their surroundings, and then relaxed as if nothing had ever happened.

“There’s a school near here. My partner is embedded in it, but we’re going to shut them down.”

“And you want my help?”

“I’m not asking you to get back into active service. I need help removing their trackers. You’re one of the only people I know who can do it safely.”

Jourdan was quiet. She looked like she was thinking it over, but Karlie knew her better than that. She had already made up her mind. Now Karlie just had to wait to hear her verdict.

“Okay,” Jourdan said after another moment. “Tell me where you need me.”

Karlie and Jourdan fell back into working together as easily as if Jourdan had never left. It made Karlie sad sometimes, to think about what they could have been if they’d ever really gotten the chance to work together in the field. But if she’d stayed with Jourdan, she would never have had the chance to meet Taylor.

She smiled to herself, one that was a little bit goofy and definitely uncontrollable, the way she always did when she thought about her partner. 

Jourdan had always been better at sneaking around than Karlie, and so she took over the messages they left for Taylor. So when Taylor walked into her room to grab the papers she’d forgotten there, it was Jourdan who was halfway out her window, not Karlie.

Taylor didn’t have a gun. She didn’t need one. She moved so quickly that she was able to pull Jourdan fully back in the window and get her on the floor in seconds.

“Who are you?”

“Ugh,” Jourdan said. “Karlie said you were strong, but she didn’t mention you were brutal.”

Taylor let up some of the pressure on Jourdan’s chest. “Karlie sent you?”

“Knockout and I were in school together. I quit, she didn’t. But she called me in for this one.”

“Why didn’t she tell me?” Taylor’s mind was racing. She needed to stop blindly trusting everyone who said they knew Karlie, but this woman did look like she could have been in UNCLE together. That was no explanation for Karlie sharing confidential information with someone who had been out of the organization for years and then not telling Taylor about it.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“What’s your name and codename?”

“Jourdan Dunn. Agent Storm. Formerly of the St. Louis branch.”

That checked out, at least. Taylor felt like a rug had been yanked out from underneath her. Why hadn’t Karlie said anything.

“I’ll be verifying that with Karlie.”

“Please do,” Jourdan said. “Radio her right now, if you’d like. I’m stuck here for another ten minutes now anyway.”

Taylor let her up hesitantly, and Jourdan stood. She didn’t seem hostile. She mostly seemed annoyed with Taylor and the whole situation.

Her communicator was in her back pocket, and she flipped it on without looking. “Open Channel D.”

“Channel D open,” the switchboard operator at UNCLE replied.

“Agent Knockout, come in.”

Karlie’s response was immediate. “What’s up, Tay?”

“There’s a woman in my room.”

Her voice retained its same effortless calm when Karlie responded. “Oh yeah, that’s Jourdan. I’m sorry if it scared you. I couldn’t make it in myself, and I figured you’d be out.”

“Why’s she here?” Taylor asked, and sure, it maybe came off a little bit aggressive. She had the right to be mad at Karlie.

“She’s familiar with Ms. Fear,” Karlie responded. “She’ll be really helpful once we shut them down, I promise.”

“When will that be?” Taylor asked. She was getting very tired of teaching English and pretending she didn’t know that most of the students would be dead before they had a chance to correct someone’s comma splice.

“Soon,” Karlie said.

Taylor hated how much she had missed her partner’s voice. It had never been like this with Selena, not really. They had missed each other, sure, but she never found herself leaning a little bit closer to the communicator like it would bring Karlie closer to her. She looked up and realized that Jourdan was watching her practically kiss her communicator. She coughed and pulled it away from her face a little. “It’d better be. Catastrophe out.”

Jourdan raised one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows. “Your codename is Catastrophe?”

“I’m clumsy.” It came out harsher than Taylor intended, and so she tried to soften her tone as she continued. “I tripped over my boss’s desk and practically landed on his lap the first day. It stuck.”

“I got mine because on my first day of training it poured while we were doing some practice tracking. Everyone else went back, but I was too stubborn. I stuck it out. When I finally ended up back at the training base, hours after everyone else, I looked like a drowned kitten. So, Storm.”

Taylor had to smile at that, as much as she hadn’t wanted to like the other woman. “You seem like you would have been good at this job.”

“Yeah,” Jourdan said, and she sighed, one that was soft yet heavy with the weight of too much to be said. “I would have loved it. But I had more to think about than just me.” Taylor tilted her head slightly at that, but didn’t ask. Jourdan went on after staring into space for a few seconds. “I have a son now. He’s seven.” Her gaze hardened. “And I promised myself I would never put myself in a situation where I could get hurt and have to leave him. So this is a one-time thing. A favor to Karlie.” 

“You’re a good friend,” Taylor said. She didn’t know what that felt like, to have anyone other than herself to look out for. “And a good mom.”

“Someone has to keep Karlie alive,” she replied. “But I think that maybe you’re up for the job.”

Somehow it was the best compliment Taylor had ever gotten.

A few seconds later she jolted back to her senses. “I have to go. I just came back for some papers I forgot. They’ll think I got lost or something.”

Jourdan was already most of the way to the window. “Good luck, Agent Catastrophe,” she said. 

“Same to you, Agent Storm.”

“Let’s just hope we get through this in one piece.” And with that, Jourdan was gone and Taylor was left staring out an empty window.

Karlie’s plan took another two days to come together. She had told Taylor parts of it, dribbling in through the bits and pieces Jourdan would hint at whenever she stopped by. To Taylor’s surprise, she was really coming to like the other woman. She wasn’t Karlie, but as far as company in this madhouse went, she was nothing to scoff at.

Jourdan was in Taylor’s room when Karlie activated her plan. The fire alarm went off, blaring so loudly that it would have been impossible to miss.

Taylor’s head shot up and she found herself reaching for the gun that wasn’t there. Her fingers danced on her hip instead, antsy.

“Go,” Jourdan said. “Hurry and get out before they come looking for you. I have my part of things covered.”

“I still don’t know what I’m doing,” Taylor complained.

Jourdan looked guilty at that, but still as resolute as she had been every other time it came up. “It’s probably better that you don’t know,” was all she said, same as any other time.

Taylor wanted to argue, but she knew she had to trust Karlie. So despite her instincts screaming at her to stay and interrogate Jourdan, she turned and left. 

The hallways were quiet. In any other school there would have been chaos, with students running for whatever exit was closest while holding tightly on to their friends. Here their lines were military straight, and it could have been any other day if not for the flashing red and white lights and sirens.

Katherine was right outside Taylor’s room. She almost walked into her. 

“Ms. Swift,” she said. “You should hurry.”

“Should I?” she asked.

The small girl nodded primly. “Smoke inhalation can be incredibly dangerous. Would you like to hear about the side effects?”

Taylor wasn’t listening to her, not really. She was studying the rows of students. Every step they were taking was in line with all of the students around them. There weren’t more than one hundred students in the school, but she swore that half the time she couldn’t tell them apart. 

“No,” she said softly, absently. It was times like these that the true horror of THRUSH as an organization sank in. UNCLE wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it didn’t take innocent children and meld them into soldiers.

“Is this the plan?” Katherine asked.

“Yeah,” she whispered back, her voice so soft that even Katherine could barely hear it. “Yeah, this is the plan.”

Ms. Fear was hurrying down the line of children, walking quickly enough that she was practically running. She grabbed Taylor’s arm on her way past. “With me, Ms. Swift.”

Taylor followed. Even with her long legs she could barely keep up. Katherine stuck with her, a decision she would probably be reprimanded for later if Karlie, Taylor, and Jourdan failed. 

“This was not scheduled,” Ms. Fear snapped. She wasn’t looking back at Taylor. “Every teacher has been here at least two years. I trust all of them. Except for you, Taylor Swift.”

Internally, Taylor was groaning. Of course she would get caught over Karlie’s plan. All she could do was hope that Karlie had accounted for this possibility when she’d been considering everything. She almost hoped it wasn’t Karlie’s plan, because she would have to give the other woman a swift kick in the rear for not warning her next time she saw her.

She was cheered up by the fact that if she survived she would see Karlie. Taylor tried to stomp down the way her heart soared at the idea of seeing her again. They had hardly been apart at all, and this was ridiculous.

“Okay, except for me,” she said, turning her attention back to Ms. Fear. “I don’t know why you would be worried about a fire alarm. If it isn’t a drill, the firefighters will be here soon, won’t they?”

Ms. Fear didn’t respond, and her iron tight grip on Taylor’s arm didn’t relax. “I’ve heard your name somewhere before. I thought I was being silly, but I wasn’t, was I? Who are you?”

“I was on Jeopardy! once,” Taylor said. Weirdly enough, it was not the first time she’d used that excuse and had it work. Unfortunately, Ms. Fear didn’t seem to be buying it.

She yanked Taylor out of the school. She had chosen a different door than the one everyone else was leaving from. Katherine was still following behind like a quiet, angry shadow. Ms. Fear didn’t seem to have noticed her through her rage.

Taylor stumbled a bit over the steps, and when she looked up Karlie was standing there. She wasn’t hiding in a tree or a vent or even in plain sight like she usually did. Instead, she stood there in all black, two swords crossed over her back and a gun holstered at her side. Jourdan stood to her right side, her arms folded over her chest and a determined glare on her chest.

Ms. Fear stopped short. “Karlie Kloss,” she said. “It’s been too long.”

Karlie was making eye contact with Ms. Fear, rather than looking over at Taylor. She couldn’t. If she made eye contact with her partner, she wouldn’t be able to keep up her façade of strength. “Not long enough,” she said. “If I’d had my way, I would never have seen you again. But sometimes we have to do things we don’t like to exterminate vermin. For now, I’d ask that you release my partner.”

Karlie’s voice was hard. Taylor had never heard her sound like that, so flat when talking about someone’s death. She could hear the undercurrent of anger.

When Ms. Fear let go of Taylor, she was somewhat surprised. She had forgotten Ms. Fear had even grabbed her arm. There were marks already forming. She’d have bruises later for sure. “Taylor Swift,” Ms. Fear said. “Of course. You’re UNCLE agents. It makes sense you’d get a partner like this one, little Kloss. She can’t even defend herself without you, I bet. You always did like to play the hero.”

Taylor bristled at that. She had been tired of not being taken seriously for a long time. She kept her mouth shut, though. Something told her this was Karlie’s fight.

“I’m surprised you haven’t heard of her,” Karlie retorted. “I’m pretty sure Agent Catastrophe has taken down some of your operations. Does the Potsdam Affair sound familiar?”

Ms. Fear was clenching her fists in anger, but she hadn’t reached for Taylor again, something she was grateful for. It would be a shame to toss the woman over her shoulder and miss out on whatever plan Karlie had concocted that involved walking out in plain sight and announcing herself.

Behind her, Katherine was inching her way backwards. From there, she headed off to begin circling around them to be closer to Karlie.

“Agent Catastrophe and Agent Knockout—that is what you’re calling yourself these days, isn’t it? What a fitting pair. I may have even put you together myself. But you know THRUSH better than that, don’t you, Karlie? You know that with us you could have grown so much better. You could have reached above the ranks of even Taylor Swift. You still could. There’s still room for you with us.”

Taylor didn’t want to believe what she saw in Karlie’s face was hesitation. She didn’t want to believe that Karlie could even be considering an offer from THRUSH. She was watching the other woman’s face so intently that she was able to tell the exact moment that it hardened and Karlie came back to herself.

“I would never betray UNCLE. You taught me better than to turn my back on my employer.”

She twitched a bit at that. All of this was painting a picture of Karlie that she very much did not want to have in her head.  
“If I’d taught you that well you never would have left THRUSH,” scoffed Ms. Fear.

Taylor turned her attention from Karlie to her and saw the knife she was slowly removing from her leg. With one swift move Ms. Fear was on the ground and Taylor stood over her with the knife she’d grabbed.

“Karlie, darling, as much as I’m enjoying the show, you know Napoleon hates it when we play with our prey.”

Even Jourdan laughed at that. “She’s right, Karlie,” she said after a moment. “Now’s not the time for your revenge speech. Take her down now or we’re going to have to get her back to New York.”

Karlie didn’t hesitate. She raised her gun and fired a single, solitary bullet right into Ms. Fear’s forehead.

“Leave her,” she told Taylor. “There’s an UNCLE cleanup crew on their way.”

“Karlie!” Katherine shrieked.

All three of them spun. Katherine was clutched in the arms of one of the soldiers, who had managed to grab her while the adults were distracted. It was the same one who had been there when Taylor was first hired.

“You killed her,” he said. He seemed to be truly upset, his eyes wide at the sight of his mistress on the ground.

“I thought you put them all down,” Karlie hissed to Jourdan.

“I thought I did too,” she hissed in return.

Karlie’s mind was whirring too quickly for her to form a plan. All she could see was the life behind Ms. Fear’s eyes going out. That was over ten years of pain and fear, just gone in an instant. She didn’t know how to feel now that she was gone, really. 

Luckily, Taylor spoke. “Let her go.”

“I can’t do that,” he said.

“Lukas, please,” Katherine begged.

“I can’t do that,” Lukas repeated.

“Yes, you can,” said Taylor. “It’s over. This school is over. UNCLE is going to close it down, and once the new bill passes through the Senate there won’t be another one like it opening. Hurting Katherine won’t bring Ms. Fear or the school back. It’ll just take another innocent life. And hasn’t she been hurt enough?”

It wouldn’t work. Karlie had spent enough time with Ms. Fear and her soldiers to know that it wouldn’t work. And she’d been one of the lucky ones, lucky enough to escape and find UNCLE. She hoped Katherine would have every bit as much luck.

Against all odds, Lukas stepped back. The moment she was free, Katherine ran to Karlie. Karlie pushed the younger girl behind her. “Keep eyes on our backs,” she whispered.

Katherine nodded, and took up this new task with all the seriousness of youth.

“I suppose you’ll shoot me now,” Lukas said.

“Karlie won’t.” Jourdan raised her gun and fired. She lifted it afterwards and pretended to blow smoke away. “But I will.” At Taylor’s eyebrow raise, she laughed. “Sleeping darts. Used them on the rest of the guards, but I guess this fellow missed out. There’s already an UNCLE cleanup crew here taking them away and figuring out where the kids should go.”

“What’ll happen to us?” Katherine asked. She was still watching the forest behind Karlie intently.

“I don’t know,” Karlie said. It was true, as much as it pained her to admit it. “UNCLE will take a few on, probably, return a few to their parents. Some of the younger kids will go back into the system, some of the older ones into deprogramming. UNCLE has had to get good at that.”

“What about me?”

Taylor spoke this time. “What do you want to happen?”

Katherine looked down at Ms. Fear’s body, and then back up at Taylor. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Karlie and Taylor didn’t get a chance to speak until the plane ride back to New York. They left Jourdan at her terminal. After a long, hushed conversation with Karlie Jourdan had hugged Taylor and said, “Take care of her, Swift. She deserves everything you have and more.”

Taylor couldn’t say she disagreed at all.

On the plane, Karlie was the one to speak first. “I didn’t want you to look at me differently.”

Taylor kept her eyes carefully forward on the seat in front of her. “I understand.”

“I told you the truth, about UNCLE finding me at a high school boxing match. I just eliminated some of what came before.”

“You were at one of Ms. Fear’s schools.”

“Yes.” Taylor had known it was coming, but hearing Karlie admit it aloud was still painful. “It was before this one, outside St. Louis. She moved around a lot.”

“She would have had to.”

“I didn’t want to be THRUSH. I didn’t want to be UNCLE either, at first. But I had run away with Jourdan, and they were after us. It seemed like the best option.”

“Are you still happy with it?”

The question hung between them, heavy as the plane cut through a crowd. “I’m happy with you,” Karlie finally said.

Neither of them was looking at the other.

“I’m sorry,” Taylor said. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“I should have stopped her sooner.”

“You were a kid, Karlie.” Now she looked over at her partner. A single tear was dripping down Karlie’s cheek.

“I could have saved them so much pain. Katherine should never have had to kill anyone. None of them should have been there.”

“You were a child. You saved yourself. That was what was important then. And you went back for them.”

Karlie finally made eye contact. “Have I told you lately that you’re the best partner?”

Sensing that the subject was closed, at least for the moment, Taylor smiled. “Not recently, but I’m all ears.”

At that, Karlie laughed. It wasn’t okay, and maybe Karlie would never be okay, really, but they had made a start. And if there was anything Taylor was good at, it was distracting her partner.

They would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karlie and Taylor travel to a school that is training children to be THRUSH operatives, and thus to kill. In the process of shutting it down, it's revealed that before she joined UNCLE Karlie was at one of these schools. It doesn't go into much detail about what happens there, but all the same it is not pleasant. These schools are part of Man From UNCLE canon, so they do have a precedent in the show.

**Author's Note:**

> We wish to thank the United Network Command for Law and Enforcement without whose assistance this story would not be possible.


End file.
